Paris Hilton exit-interviews a Dick
Monday, 29 December 2008 16:56
Sitting in his undisclosed bunker Dicky was in an expansive mood as he talked to our reporter-at-large, Paris Hilton. Paris got the scoop before other pedestrian mainstream media got to talk to him. She had had phone-sexed the call to interview Dicky at his underground bunker next to the Bush sewage plant.
Waxing eloquent laced with drool as Paris shifted her legs and showed bush, he boasted that his puppet and himself never forced Ayerabs into forced labor camps in California and Nevada Ground Zero or Area 51. Nor did they impose martial law because the supine Americans turned over and let the pair of them stuff more camel-turd than their collective backsides could handle and boasted that this indeed was a lofty standard of behaviour.But what about the bin Laden family which was allowed to flee just after the ban on flights was lifted after 911, Paris asked.
Is that so?, I think the records have to be pulled out and sanitized so that future generations are unaware of the loot they fave us, said Dicky waving his hand non-chalantly and blowing Cuban cigar rings at the exhaust windows. It's pretty exhausting to do that, you know, said Dicky with a wink and a leer mixed with a drool. Paris had meanwhile moved upto his armchair and was stroking him. havent you read my exit interviews where I have put up a bone-clean record of our 8 years enterprise run better than a Capo of the Rotschild mafia can do. Aww, baby, please do your research! We had fun watching the slaughter on giant screens and on live feed too. Afghanistan provides us the elixir to dumb every one down with its massive poppy fields which are under CIA-Taliban collaboration he said as he laid an arm on Paris's legs.
You see the invasion of Iraq was exactly the right thing to do, not an unnecessary war that required misleading Americans since we had to keep the economy going and divert attention from our agenda of diddling public tax-payers money. We benefited immensely and can retire in peace and comfort. We certainly did not bungle the post-invasion, we got oil for free and out-sourced everything to our shadow companies, he said with a leery grin. We expected the insurgency and kept them supplied with arms. In eight years we have learned to butter not only both sides of our daily bread but the edges too, haha.
Paris smiled demurely and went on to the sensitive subject of water-boarding. Dicky seized the chance that he had actually endorsed, the Pentagon's decision to authorize abusive and illegal interrogation techniques and admitted that only 3 men were subjected to it. The chaps on the ground did not have the balls to do it to more people.[Smirk]
When queried about the deficit budgets of Dubya's years in power, he said, " It was caused mainly by fighting two wars and by essential programs like "enhancing the security of our shipping container business." He skilfully evaded the fact that Dubya's idea to scan cargo for nuclear materials at air, land and sea ports had been mired in delays, cost overruns and questions about effectiveness. But paris later found that, the Congressional Budget Office has said the Bush-Cheney tax cuts for the wealthy were the biggest reason that the budget went into the red.
Paris: And what is the noise about spying on Americans' international calls without a warrant?
Cheney: We authorized it after the Democratic and Republican congressional leadership was fully briefed on the program starting in late 2001.I personally ran a meeting at which they were unanimous, Republican and Democrat alike that the program was essential and did not require further congressional involvement.
Paris: The record doesn't say so, Dick.
"People can actually mean quite another thing when they in fact or saying something else. I succeeded in my own 'shadow' government and hope that Biden has the balls to run the same show, ", signing off the interview, Dick went on to his bedroom where his wife was waiting with a nail studded whip.
Paris signed off by saying that we're certain a little diminishing of that office{ VPs} would be good for the US of A.
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