Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

Islamabad: Imran Khan, ex-cricketer and founder of the political party Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (Movement for Justice) said that by once again rejecting his party at the polls, Pakistan has lost a golden opportunity of having world's most handsome leader.

"Pakistan's loss is now Taiwan's gain to fame" said the handsome politician, reacting to news reports that people of Taiwan are overjoyed at the prospect of their next president being world's most handsome leader.

According to some reports, Taiwan's president-elect Ma's good looks played an important part in swaying voters to his side, especially female voters who fondly call him 'Hsiao Ma Ke,' which means 'Brother Ma,' or 'Hsiao Shuai Ke' that means 'Mr Handsome'. Wherever he goes, Ma attracts a horde of female fans who shout his name, snap his photos and ask for his autograph.

"Pakistan has not much going for itself at this stage. Our image worldwide has been tarnished due to our perceived close links with terrorist groups. Frequent military coups, assassinations of political leaders and terrorism have given us a bad rap internationally. Pakistan desperately needs an image makeover" said Imran Khan

Imran Khan: I'm more handsome and sexier than the Ma(n) on the right.

It is reliably learned from Imran's friends that he is unable to understand why Pakistanis do not fall for his good looks and vote him to power, a trend that is observable all over the world. Being a devout Muslim, he is at a loss to understand why Allah has provided him with such a dashing good looks and animal magnetism, if these traits cannot be converted into popularity at the hustings.

Political analysts say the biggest mistake of Imran's life which has scuttled his political aspirations was his decision to marry the partly-Jewish British socialite Jemima Goldsmith.

According to Mir Naqab, editor of The Dusk, Imran's good looks would have played a part in swaying Pakistan's female voters had he married a nice, punjabi girl. But by choosing a white-skinned British girl, he managed to alienate the entire female population of Pakistan who felt scorned and rejected.

Like most of Pakistan's beautiful people, who believe that beautiful people have god-given right to lead Pakistan, Imran's ex-wife Jemima, who was once a full-time Pakistani, is also unable to come to terms with the incongruity of Pakistani voters rejecting beautiful politicians and electing uglier ones. Earlier this year she had pitched heavily for the beautiful niece of the slain former leader Benazir Bhutto, Fatima Bhutto - "If a Bhutto must run Pakistan, why not Fatima? She's also as beautiful as her aunt - a young Salma Hayek lookalike - and has similar sex appeal"

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