Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

Bush's favorite bogeyman Osama bin Laden is now hiding on the "rooftop of our world" (the Karakoram section of the Himalayan range along Pakistan's borders with Afghanistan and China), according to a media report.

The CIA has located Al-CIAda chief Osama on rooftop of our world. Earlier the Central Investigation Agency had located him hiding inside some caves, under our bed, inside our closet and various other hiding places to install fear in our hearts. But when Osama failed to materialize out of his hiding place, Bush invented bogey-weapons which he described as 'weapons of mass destruction' and claimed they were hidden in Baghdad.

"WMD's are hiding in Iraq! WMD's are hiding in Iraq!" screamed Dubya and sent his army of sheeple to find them. The sheeple-army expectedly couldn't locate the bogey-weapons in any cave of Iraq, but found Saddam Hussein hiding in one of them and killed him along with few lacs of Iraqis. The rest of about a million Iraqis who died thereafter got killed by killing each other in the same way a million hindus and muslims of undivided India got killed by killing each other when undivided India got divided.

But all this is history. With bogey-weapons out of public memory and with elections round the corner, Bush needs bogeyman again to install fear in the hearts of voters and vote republicans back to power.

And so Bush's favorite bogeyman is back.

Like moms of chambal valley who used bogeyman gabbar singh to threaten their unruly and misbehaving kids saying -"Beta, so jao jaldi se, varna gabbar aa jayega", Bush administration likes to invoke Lord Osama's name every now and then to remind U.S voters why they need GOP to protect them from the dangerous monster who is lurking around somewhere ready to pounce on them.

Uncle Osama obliges them by sending regular audio tapes of his voice threatening Americans who supports their troops, Isrealis who torture Palestinians, Indians who don't want to share Kashmir with Pakistanis and Pakistanis who used to like traitor Musharuff.

But why audio tapes in a world where cheap mobile cameras costing less than $100 are available on every nook and corner?

Pick any of the below:

- Since he hides most of the time in ancient caves, he is still living in 19th century when video recording was not yet invented (So how did he blow up the twin towers using 20th century airplanes? Only Allah knows!)
- He is very ugly and doesn't want to scare poor yankees.
- He is very shy and highly camera-conscious.
- He is very much dead and ghostly (as we all know - ghosts don't leave a solid impression on cameras)
- 'Coz audio tapes are much easier to fake than video tapes.

Why are Americans content to be threatened only on audio and don't demand to see Osama Bin Laden in full technicolor glory?

Are they are too paralysed by fear of this bogeyman hiding under their bed or on their rooptop to be able to ask obvious questions?

Comments (1)

derebail2008 said:

	Osama is in IRAN lol, safest place for him to survive. Lol Bush don t take my word for it, do some research before intiating war on terror.
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 28, 2008
Votes: +0

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