Bullshit Alert!

Wednesday, 15 October 2008 20:34

Written by essbee

Since the second World War ended, politicians across the world have been using bullshit at an alarming rate. The rate of bullshit usage is so high, some scientists are saying that our world is very close to running out of bullshit.

Scientist and leading peak bullshit proponent, Robert Matthew, said that every year politicians are using up exponential amounts of bullshit, a trend that began in earnest after World war II.

"Politicians have become addicted to bullshit," Matthew said. "Imagine the political fortunes won and lost due to all the bullshit generated over the decades."

The global shortage of bullshit is causing rising food and fuel prices across the world. Some of the hardest hit of the shortage are the poorest countries of the world many of who were already struggling to find enough bullshit to feed the increasing numbers questioning authority and demanding change of amount of shit they have to swallow. Economists had long predicted the time when demand for bullshit would outstrip the supply resulting in the so-called 'peak bullshit', which would cause a seismic shift in the price of bullshit.

For many years for now, cheap bullshit sprouting from the mouths of ruling elite was taken for granted. Most of the population of the world was raised on abundance of cheap bullshit flowing endlessly from their politicians, business leaders, religious charlatans and great rivers of hot steamy bullshit flowed from the media pouring out of hundreds of TV channels, driveling from the press, oozing out of movies and squirting out from every loud speaker in the world.

Education and employment for everyone, democracy, freedom and justice for all, equality, abolishment of poverty, improvement in standard of living, roads, 24/7 power and water etc...blah blah blah! So much bullshit has been used on people that it accounts for 40 % of entire planets harmful emissions.

Speculators have pushed the cost of bullshit up to record highs on world markets. In the past a little bullshit might only cause you a little peace of mind, some dignity and perhaps your self-esteem. In today's world, millions die paying for the bullshit of corrupt, evil, lying assholes in charge. Many more millions live life in slavery and poverty sustained by seemingly, endless streams of filthy, liquid hot bullshit. But not for much longer. The global shortage in supply means less bullshit to go round.

Some people believe this would lead to catastrophic consequences for world economy. As bullshit runs out, many people will start to think for themselves. Some may actually realize that the ruling elite have been fucking them over for a buck simply to make themselves more richer. They may wake up and see the world as a place to love and live and not a never-ending struggle to grab a piece of economic pie. They may begin to wonder why a small group of people control all the world's resources and manipulate wars, economies and populations to suit their own ends.

Nevertheless, desperate efforts to find a solution are being sought by the super-elite, including synthetic processing of former bullshit in a industrial process called lying. You see, naturally occurring bullshit uses some part of reality, bending it, shaping it and twisting it to make almost anything possible, but synthetic bullshit is completely made up of lies. It contains nothing remotely true or real in any way at all. Examples of synthetic bullshit are - weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Iran is threat to world peace, US is exporting democracy and freedom all over the world, trillion dollar bailouts to Wall-Street can prevent the world economy from collapsing and so on.

It remains to be seen if enough synthetic bullshit can be produced to keep the world's population completely full of it!

Comments (1)

juuleo: u r bullshitting man

Maverick

yes, u r still bullshitting ,man.

on onion uthappam

1

October 18, 2008

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