Transport Authority of India approaches ECB

Tuesday, 27 January 2009 17:51

Written by BOOM SHANKER

Among the many famous quotes attributed to Shane Warne is the one in which he is of the opinion that the only reason a team needs a coach is to ferry players from one location to another. Or something to that effect.

Keeping this gem of an idea in mind the day after they heard that the English Cricket Bored (ECB) had sacked Moores as coach of the English cricket team, the Transport Authority of India (TAI) called an Extraordinary General Nobody Meeting to consider the ramifications of the move and the future course of action.

After Warne’s heroics at the head of the ‘world famous’ IPL-conquering Rajasthan Royals, his every word is taken very, very seriously in this part of the world. Furthermore, it doesn’t hurt his popularity ratings one bit that he has the nicest things to say about Sachin Tendulkar. In fact, thanks to such acts of selflessness, Shane Warne could run for public office in India and stand a pretty good chance of being elected. Right now, though, it’s his opinion on possible candidates to coach the English team that was up for discussion at the TAI meeting.

After spending a suitable length of time deliberating on the cricket coach’s role in the scheme of things, the TAI decided it made a lot of sense to forward the names of a fleet of Volvos owned by Sharma Transport and a handful of Hi-tec buses in the Jabbar Travels stable to the ECB for consideration. The Respected Shane Warne, who was approached for a positive reference, agreed to second their application via SMS.

When the TAI-sponsored overture landed on the Hugh Morris’ table, he didn’t quite know what to make of it. But when Mr. Morris saw that the said proposal was SMS-approved by Shane Warne, he thought it might not be such a bad idea to discuss the merits of it with the newly-appointed captain Andrew Strauss.

Boom Shanker (BS), who has been known to keep a close eye on developments of such earth-shaking importance, is of the opinion that the TAI offer stood a very good chance of going through if Pietersen had been retained as captain of England. Reason being, Sharma & Jabbar are known to have assured the ECB that if they were appointed as England coach, they’d ensure that Pietersen would always be in the driver’s seat.

Last night, BS received an SMS from Shane Warne informing us that the various people he is suggesting for the job of coaching England are not to be taken seriously. And that Sachin Tendulkar is definitely a greater player than Brian Lara. And that Sachin Tendulkar still gives him nightmares. And that Sachin Tendulkar reminds him most of Sir Donald Bradman. And that Sachin Tendulkar will always be the first name on every list of Warne’s greatest cricketers. And that Sachin Tendulkar is ________ (insert hagiographic word of your choice).

In the light of these developments, BS is now hopelessly smitten by Shane Warne and hopes the great man will also pepper him with a slew of amorous messages, which BS will duly pass on to the loose-limbed girls of Chandni Bar.

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