The Crossing

Friday, 05 December 2008 13:13

Written by Boom Shanker

“No, we mustn’t. We cannot. Not after what they have been doing to us for so long,” thundered one of the selectors from a part of India that will, in due course, be leaked to the media. (The sponsorship deal with M-Seal, at the time of writing, still hasn’t come through you see.) His three colleagues looked in his direction. The selector, by way of a response, looked askance to see if any of the rabid television news channels were around to unthinkingly relay all this to viewers around the country who had still not tired of the nonstop coverage since 26/11 burst upon them that night. He looked. He saw. He smiled. His words would be carried to the people and he would come out of all this looking like a true patriot. If things went well, and he didn’t invite any movie stars to the next BCCI meeting, maybe, he would even be offered the post of Chief Minister. In fact, a few more such juicy sound-bites of opportunistic patriotism and he might even get a call from Madam to lead the foundering Congress campaign in the impending general elections.

Before he could add to his initial tirade, his even-tempered peer said, “You know, you really can’t make much progress in a relationship if you refuse to engage with the person. Even if that someone happens to be a sworn enemy. Fact is, Pakistan is our neighbour. And that country is not going anywhere.” At this point he paused for effect, and the subtle pun. It didn’t have the desired effect. And so he continued, “Like I was saying, they exist next door from us. They don’t have another apartment, colony or town to move into. We’re pretty much stuck with them for the rest of our lives. How can we hope to be left in peace if we don’t break the ice? Don’t you see, it’s important that we mix sport and politics. The last time we made some decent progress in our relationship with Pakistan was when we used a touch of cricket diplomacy and sent a team there. We went on to win that series quite emphatically. I’m telling you our people will like that. God knows, we don’t need a war of any kind. The only way we can show how powerful we are is by thrashing them on the cricket field. It’s the preferred alternative to a nuclear war,” concluded the, so far, sole voice of reason in this emergency selection committee meeting called by the BCCI to discuss the future course of action. He didn’t bother looking around for a television channel because he knew full well they were incapable of and not interested in relaying anything remotely reasonable to their viewers. ‘Reasonable is boring’ was their mantra.

Mr. Thundervoice took a deep breath, raised both his eyebrows, collected a dense set of furrows on his brow before launching his next surface-to-surface missile, “You know the problem with you and your type, you’re spineless. It’s because of people like you that this country has become a soft state. Yes, a SOFT STATE, that’s what we are today. And that’s what we’ll always be if your kind is allowed to have your way.” He took a peek in the direction of the door and noticed a clutch of mikes dangling like necks craning for a piece of the action. Emboldened, encouraged and excited, he continued, “I love this country. I love my countrymen. I love the people who died. I love it that 26/11 has happened. Maybe now, we’ll be united in our fight against the terrorism. I say, we have a vote this very minute. And if I end up being isolated by the bunch of you weaklings, I don’t care. I’m willing to give up this crummy post for the sake of the country,” he ended. Quite sure, by now, that he was on his way to Delhi to play a much bigger role in the scheming of things.

And so, they all agreed that this contentious issue should be put to vote by a show of hands. Mr. Thundervoice, much to his own delight, was defeated 3-1. It was decided by the majority that the Indian cricket team would undertake a ‘Friendship tour of Pakistan’. Immediately. The players were of course not consulted about this because they felt that such a move would only result in more disagreements that would then end up being leaked to the media, which they felt would be a ‘Disgraceful and disgusting’ thing to happen.

While all this was taking place in India, the cash-strapped Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) had called for an Extraordinary General Meeting during which they decided that in a show of support for the victims of 26/11 they would send their team to India to play a series of 'Friendly' ODIs. This they felt would be a useful confidence-building measure to persuade the BCCI that it was all right for them to send the Indian team to Pakistan. The proposal was passed unanimously, as usual, by the only person with the power to vote.

Sadly, since neither country was willing to engage the other in a dialogue of any kind after 26/11, apart from a war of words, what eventually happened is that the Pakistan team landed in India the very same day and time that the Indian team landed in Pakistan. As a result, they had nobody to play with and returned to their respective countries blaming the other for the undiplomatic fiasco.

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