Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

One of the things that keeps advertising going (apart from discount sales) is the desire for people to be like people they perceive to be better than or better off than themselves. Advertising agencies are no different.

When one particular brand which I will name shortly found out that another brand, which I have already named a short while back in this most serious viewspaper, was considering sponsoring the BCCI Selection Committee meetings, they were most miffed that the advertising agency they had employed specifically to come up with trail-blazing marketing ideas of such-kind had not thought about the very same idea for their brand.

Interestingly, the team that suggested this most original idea for M-Seal happens to be from the very same advertising agency that is now suggesting this no-longer-so-original idea (which I will reveal very shortly, much in the manner of the climax of a bad ‘teaser campaign’) for the brand that was feeling quite excluded from all the fun. And shilling opportunities!

In a haphazardly put together effort to keep up with the Pidilites of the world (not the Corporate House of Mahindras, as was helpfully pointed out by one of my most trivial friends), the advertising agency with the most original ideas in the world has come up with a we-too idea with more legs than you’re likely to see in a fashion show - that of sponsoring the Australian Cricket Team.

Regular cricket watchers will agree with me when I say that the last few years have seen an exponential rise in the prevalence of unnecessary chat on the field of play during cricket matches. Shockingly enough, the men and women (the fairer sex has been included for the purposes of this discussion only in an effort to be politically correct) from advertising haven’t, until now, found a way to make the most of it. God knows they’ve found a way to make the least of the cricket viewing area by plastering it with so many advertisements, banners, strips and the like that there’s little, if any, space left for the very thing that people tune in to watch. Ironic, eh? Most certainly! (One of the rare times that it has been used correctly, if I may add.)

Regular advertising-watch … err, cricket watchers on television will also agree with me when I say that it is quite enjoyable watching players give one and other a bit of ‘lip’ during matches. No, the said term has nothing to do with exchanging saliva or pecking orders. It’s just a very Australian way of describing the act of questioning another player’s parentage and queries/comments/chat of a similar nature. Save for a few traditionalists, most people are of the opinion that sledging adds some welcome spice to the game. That it took a brand so long to spot the advertising opportunity in this, also, is what’s rather surprising. Well, as they say, it’s better late than never. (And even better than better if you have to go out for the toss with a certain Steve Waugh.)

In an effort to extend their current advertising campaign that centres around the various situations in which unwanted chat is brought to a grinding halt by the effects of popping in this flavourful gum, with the tagline ‘Zubaan pe Lagaam’ (a very Indian way of saying ‘zip it!’), ‘Center Fresh’ chewing gum have approached Cricket Australia with a proposal to sponsor the Australian cricket team.

Last we checked, the Australian Players Association have informed Cricket Australia that they would entertain the said proposal only if the ‘bloody thing’ was ‘beer-flavoured’. The spokesman from Center Fresh was too busy chewing gum to respond because he was concerned about the beer fumes that would give his ‘secret’ meet away!

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