A conversation that our correspondent in Kolkota overheard in a Coffee House after the culmination of day 5 of the second-test match between India and South Africa.

“So? Are you sated with the tumbling and creating of records on Day Five of the ongoing Test Series?”

“What records? And was it Day Five, for me it was Day One! He, He.”

“You certainly watched today’s game isn’t it?”

“I was at the stadium. Period I wanted to see how many times they flashed my mug on the giant screen.”

“How were you sure?”

“Oh! I had the zaniest slogan to lift up and wave whenever the crowd roared and cheered.”

“And you didn’t know why the crowd cheered and roared?”

“Naah! One thing I noticed was that, there was a gentleman in black trousers that always got excited and waved his arms after the cheers! I wonder why?”

“What? You don’t know the game and yet purchased the tickets?”

“Cool, yaar, I did it for my girl friend! She was the one who shelled out the money! I had to accompany her coz she is scared of traveling alone by the Metro. He, He!”

“And she is not afraid of the crowds here?”

“No, she says it’s a gentleman’s game and people who come here are gentle men and ladies and I wonder, how come?”

“What do you mean?”

“How can it be a gentleman’s game when the players glare at each other mouthing words like Fuck, etc and call each other monkey though they pronounce it as maa-ki?”

“He, he, you sure have some memory”

“Thank you! Tell me something, why is everybody getting excited for India reaching the No: 1 spot? Isn’t 1 the lowest number?”

“Okay, tell us what rank you got in school?”

“I always got the highest rank”(proud smile)

“Which is?”

“Suppose there were 37 students in my class, I always got the 37^th rank and everybody used to turn around and give me envious looks”

“Really?”

“Really and that’s how I picked up a lot of girl friends’ (winks)”

“ Where is your girl friend now?”

“She has gone to get Boucher’s auto-graph”

“But why Boucher’s?”

“ Because he did not play and allowed the other guy to show his diving skills which even the crowd cheered”

“And why are you stripping down now?”(puzzled)

“Because I am sure they will show me again on the giant screen and I have to change my costume and my girl friend says that one should always change costumes after every TV appearance on a single day”

“So what was it you wrote on the placards? ”

“Thank you, Neo Sports and Neo Cricket in different colours”