Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

While the IPL circus has generated considerable excitement in media and public alike, there are some cricket-fanatics who continue to resist the new format and have not been swayed by all the hype, despite persistent efforts on their part to be swept up by IPL mania. One of our readers, Mr.Purav Shah, administrative manager in a Bangalore-based construction firm, wrote a long mail, expressing deep regret at his inability to enjoy the IPL tamasha.

"I'm sorry to say, but despite persistent efforts, I'm unable to find IPL matches interesting enough to devote 3-4 hours for 44 continuous days. I'm a huge cricket fan and have spent countless hours following the fortunes of our cricket team. When IPL was launched with so much fun-fare, I was considerably excited and was looking forward to fun-filled nights of 20-20 cricket matches. But as the tournament progresses, I find myself unable to stay interested in the proceedings. As soon as I reach home from a hard day at work, I grab my remote, my favorite sofa spot, turn on the TV and wait for the matches to start. But within few overs, my interest starts to wane, I lose my concentration, my eyes lose focus on the screen, my fingers start getting fidgety and I end up channel-surfing after every few deliveries, instead of changing channels at the end of every over as was the case when I used to watch regular one-day Internationals."

         Even the skimpily clad Washington Redskin cheerleaders outsourced by Vijay Mallya to set the temperatures soaring have failed to enthuse Purav Shah

"Whats wrong with me?"

"I honestly don't know. All my friends and office colleagues have faced no problems in becoming accustomed to this wonderful new format of the game. So why I'm I unable to generate sufficient interest? After all, all the needed ingredients are there. Seventy-eight of world's best players slogging it out every night for my benefit with crores of rupees riding over them. Plus the like of Shahrukh Khan, Pretty Zinta & Vijay Mallya backing them. The 20-20 format is a proven success. Some of the biggest corporations of India are doling out billions to generate the needed hype. So much of moolah, so much of glamor. So where is it going wrong? Where am I going wrong?"

"My biggest problem is the most elementary one - my inability to choose the team I wish to support. How do I select the team worthy enough to devote all of my passion for the game? When it comes to test and one-day cricket, its incredibly easy. I was born in India and have lived all my life in India. Indian cricket team consists only of Indian players. Being a patriot, I've no choice but to support Indian team. Being a proud Indian, I've no inclination to support any other team. I wish it was as easy to pick an IPL team to extend my support. But sadly, my personal history doesn't lend itself easily to support any one of the eight teams in the fray. Except for the pink city, Jaipur with which I've no relationship whatsoever, I find all the other cities equally appealing. I was born in New Delhi, (my grandparents hail from Chandigarh) but spent my formative years in Kolkatta, completed my graduation in Chennai, found my first job in Mumbai and stayed there for four years till I found a new job in Bangalore where I finally found the first love of my love, a lovely Hyderabadi girl. I've sweet and pleasant memories of all the seven cities (not much of New Delhi, but I was born there) which makes it almost impossible for me select one at the cost of another."

"Is it possible to sustain interest in the tournament on the basis of disinterest/apathy towards a single team? Maybe if I could hate Jaipur with some amount of intensity, I might be able to convert my hatred for the city to love for club-cricket. But Jaipur fails to generate any feelings on acute loathing inside me. On the contrary, it being one of the weakest team of the league only serves to generate feelings of sympathy that underdogs manage to generate for themselves."

"Selecting any team on the basis of any of the icons is almost as difficult as selecting any team on the basis of their cities. Sachin Tendulkar is my all-time favorite cricketer, Dhoni is leading the one-day team successfully, Ganguli was the guy responsible for giving Indian team its teeth, Yuvraj & Sehwag are the most exciting players to watch on their day, VVS Laxman is in a class of his own and Dravid is a legend. How do I pick any one of them over the others?

I'm so sorry!

"I want to profusely apologize to all the big corporations, movie stars, marketers, BCCI and all the cricketers who have put in so much of effort to create fresh avenues of sporting entertainment in my life. I wish to thank all of you for your wonderful attempt to add excitement to my boring evenings spent watching dull shows on television. I'm so sorry that your attempts have so far failed to meet my expectations. But its not really your fault. You have tried your best using a format that has been quite successful in all other sports. Its me that has failed you"

"If a guy sitting in Mumbai can feel passion for 'Manchester United' a foreign team having no connection with India or with him, why should it be so hard for me, sitting in Bangalore to generate similar feelings for Mallya's boys? It doesn't make sense. I guess I'm unable to adapt myself to the demands of changing times, still stuck in an obsolete mental framework that reacts only to national divisions, when the need of the hour is to breakout from allegiance to wider, broader boundaries of nationalities and realign myself to narrower boundaries of club and city based loyalties."

Comments (1)

ragamuffin said:

:cheer: Initially I found myself in a similar situation. Couldnt quite connect with the variety of players in any single team.We have been so used to heering and betting for Team India that none of the IPL teams appeals to us coz of the motley bunch of players. I've got rid of the mental bloc by just focussing on one team(Knight riders)coz of Ganguly ,Kolkata and SRK. Though I have to admit that I ended up losing all my bets coz of their poor performance.But me's all for Knight riders till the end and me's enjoying all the matches.Its a fundoo concept :cheer:

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May 01, 2008
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