ECB stumps Pietersen

Thursday, 08 January 2009 13:44

Written by boomshanker

Right at the outset, and in the light of the headline, Boom Shanker (BS) would like to make one thing absolutely clear: Matt Prior, the current England wicket-keeper has nothing to fear. England and the ECB are some distance away from finding a competent enough stumper to do the job. For the time being, Prior will keep the big gloves. Whether he’ll keep his frisky wife or not, though, is a matter beyond the scope of BS’ brief.

Speaking of briefs, let’s get to Pietersen’s. The England captain, who got his knickers into an almighty twist over the omission of one-time, sometime and now part-time cricketer Vaughan from the side chosen to tour the West Indies, was soon called upon to muster a suitable response to the ECB’s riposte.
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More on that right after this bit of background information for those of you coming in later than Latifs. (Not Rashid.) It seems the real cause of the England captain’s angst was that he was finding it next to impossible to get a hang of whatever tactical advise Moores was dishing out during team meetings. And since earpieces, a la Cronje and Woolmer, are not allowed, Pietersen was at a loss to do anything sensible once on the cricket field. Sources tell us, this is the one reason he was keen as a cutlet to have Vaughan in the side and that the former England captain’s exclusion was just the excuse Pietersen needed to launch his devastating broadside against the coach.

The way Pietersen saw it, Vaughan’s presence in the side would leave him free to do the things he enjoys most: wave his arms around aggressively, pat his team-mates bottoms and bat without a care in the world. Vaughan, incapable as he is of doing anything remotely physical, would be left with the cerebral job of memorizing tactics and feeding them to Pietersen.

If you ask BS, for more reasons than one, which BS will get to in due course, it seems like an eminently workable solution for England’s problems. Obviously, Moores and the ECB didn’t think so. The rest as they say is (recent) history. Unfortunately, the biggest problem with Pietersen’s outburst and demand for the sacking of Moores is it makes it virtually impossible for the ECB to appoint another coach.

Thanks to Pietersen’s latest long-distance tantrum, no new appointee will feel like he has a significant role to play in the scheme of things envisaged by the England captain. Short of perhaps going out during every single drinks interval to feed him tactical advise in smaller, convenient-to-recall sips. That’s why the ECB decided the preferred way forward would be to give Pietersen what he wants, while making sure he can’t have it. They went ahead and appointed Vaughan as coach.

Obviously, this new development didn’t help matters for the England captain. He was still left with the onerous task of memorizing the theories and tactics discussed in the dressing room, this time, delivered by his own man, Vaughan. As far as Pietersen was concerned, he needed a thinker on the field, not in the dressing room, at all times to make him look good.

Vaughan on the other hand, it seems, was quite pleased with this latest development because it meant there was no danger of him being shown up on the cricket field as a limp non-performer. In the end the only way out for Pietersen was to resign and get back to doing what he’s best at. Not thinking.

Keeping in mind the quest for the Ashes, BS thinks the ECB should take this their masterstroke to it’s logical conclusion and also offer the England captaincy to Vaughan. Seeing how slim his chances are of finding any kind of batting touch it would be an inspired move guaranteed to leave the Aussies, who are known to target the opposition captain and destroy his form, with nothing to train their guns on and destroy.

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maverick58: ...

We broke the news first smilies/grin.gif

January 09, 2009

maverick58: ...

Andrew Strauss yesterday began his reign as England cricket captain. Paul Newman in the Mail says: "As he sifted through the wreckage of English cricket, 31-year-old Strauss admitted that he talked to [Kevin] Pietersen and thought 'very carefully' before accepting the enormous challenge of becoming the new skipper and uniting a divided team." Meanwhile Shane Warne has laughed off reports that he was approached by Pietersen, who wanted him to take over from coach Peter Moores. However, Paul Weaver in the Guardian says another crisis could be brewing. He writes: "It emerged yesterday that [Andy] Flower, who is tipped to be the temporary replacement for the sacked Moores, was one of the backroom staff that Pietersen wanted England to get rid of."

January 09, 2009

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ECB stumps Pietersen

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