Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

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Mar 13th
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... who was Idea’s brand ambassador for almost 3 years was dumped in favour of 43 Members of Orgy House (commonly referred to as an MP). MPs from across party lines signed up to be brand ambassadors, most ...
... with the kids while I was out of station. Oh, wait. There’s another charge of Rs. 1000 to a day care center. On 14th and 15th? Thats pretty weird” thought Amit as he looked through his wife (of 4 years) ...
... illegally copying all our good stuff. The sole reason of improved performance of Indian team has been the knowhow painstakingly developed by Cricket Australia over the past several years.” In reply ...
4. God Convicted of Mass Killing
(Science/Science)
After tens of thousands of years of getting away with murder of billions of earthlings, God, creator of universe and of billions of humans, was today convicted of mass killing of people by the Supreme ...
With the burgeoning explosion of sex education classes conducted over the Internet, Swiss boys in the age of 12-14 years have been found to be more active than rabbits when it came to performing the ...
6. Still Disappointed after a Double Hundred
(People/Life/People/Life)
... has been tweeting since past 3 years and according to him he is the only twitterite in India in last 3 years who has twitted on anything and everything that has made news. Out of 24 hours in the day ...
... personal records of Lord Sachin Tendulkar to ensure that vagaries of time do not obliterate the real truth of his life and his godhood. "Thousands or perhaps even millions of years from now, ...
... goons in September 2007. It is now over two years, but not only does Todi continue to evade the lambe haath of kanoon by buying top cops and politicians of Kolkota utilizing his hundreds of crores that ...
... hours, which to him felt like many years, some heavenly entity heard his desperate pleadings for help and materialized before him.  This heavenly entity, which appeared to him in the form of N.T.Ramarao, ...
... Shree?” shouted Bhajji, unaware that the ‘journalist’, Barkha Dutt bought one as recently as in 2008. “Idiots don’t play for their country for 13 years” he continued, again unaware that cricketers like ...
The Government today launched its new Liberalization Policy which will soon open up the country’s asshole for the entire world to fuck. This follows the opening up of the economy nearly 20 years ago. ...
12. Nehru and Valentine’s Day at Andipatti
(People/Life/People/Life)
... the Town Elders?” “In the beginning, a few years back a few couples were tied to that Neem-tree over there and thrashed. Two of them died subsequently and their bodies were thrown into the Vaigai ...
... years, was over some natural gas that Mukesh Ambani owned Reliance Industries (RIL) found in the Krishna Godavari Basin or somewhere. It seems that RIL struck a shitload of Natural gas in that area way ...
... surrounding this years event was unbelievably huge. I took my seat well before Gods segment at 4.p.m in order to experience this historic event to the fullest. The atmosphere was electric, which as it ...
... politics for more years than your age. In politics every development is an opportunity to be fully utilized for your personal benefit ultimately. These chaps from other states and other countries came ...
16. Motion to divide India taken back
(National/National)
... start of the next conference. “It has been now over 60 years since our erstwhile masters in London, left us at the mercy of handful of masters in New Delhi. We now want to end our slavery to the Gandhi ...
... little more tech-savvy." "Your jokes don't hurt me a bit, because unlike my products, your jokes have a limited shelf-life. Five years down the line, I will still be selling millions of iPods and iPads ...
India celebrated 60 years of being a republic yesterday, with President Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam kicking off the celebrations with the  customary Republic Day address to the Nation. The President identified ...
... virgins for the whole of heaven. More so, because 1300 years have passed since the Islam was started. I mean, a lot of men would have gone to heaven since then." explained Abdul. "Oh, yes, yes, each. ...
... is a brilliant move." The master plan has also left the Jihadis in Kashmir depressed. "Now we understand why not a single Kashmiri player has been selected in the Indian cricket team for so many years. ...
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