Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

1. Mum's the word
(Sports/Sports)

... will agree with me when I say that the last few years have seen an exponential rise in the prevalence of unnecessary chat on the field of play during cricket matches. Shockingly enough, the men and women ...

2. Rahul Mahajunk: I'm qualified to become India's Bigg Boss
(People/Life/People/Life)

... politics is the reality of current politics. I'm well-experienced in the field of coalition politics. Look at my track record. In last few years, Ive have had varied partners and shared my bathtubs ...

3. Satyamave Jayate
(National/National)

... for the last 60 years have been the rock of our mission, the believers and supporters of our dream. I love you all more than you can imagine. For you have proved that the old man in khadi was wrong. And ...

4. Oxford-Webster dictionaries to redefine the word 'terrorist'
(World/World)

... the biggest victims of terrorism in the last hundred years are unable to recognize terrorism originating from non-Muslims, then there must be certainly something wrong with our definition of terrorism!" ...

5. Bush exit will be a huge blow to comedians
(World/World)

... Stewart, Stephan Colbert, Jay Leno, Conan O Brien, David Letterman and millions of others humorists all over the world who over the last eight years have become highly dependent on the outgoing US president ...

6. India wins freedom from Ekta's empire
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... Not to accept defeat so quickly, Bollywood unleashed several of its superstars on the idiot box from Madhuri Dixit and Govinda in the early years of the freedom struggle to Shahrukh Khan & Salman Khan ...

7. Mad Cow disease outbreak in quarters of India Inc
(Business/Business)

... Mallya thought he will be another Richard Branson (or Howard Huges as suggested by one of my friends), Infosys thought they will overtake the Big Blue in another few years, and the IIMs and IITs were busy ...

8. Bullshit Alert!
(World/World)

... resulting in the so-called 'peak bullshit', which would cause a seismic shift in the price of bullshit. For many years for now, cheap bullshit sprouting from the mouths of ruling elite was taken ...

9. One Hundred years of Celibacy
(People/Life/People/Life)

... before retiring 40 years ago in Cornwall. Our intrepid reporter, Anshul, sought and was granted a phone interview. Anshul is no stranger to women, especially Raakhi Saawant and Paris Hilton. We reproduce ...

10. Bollywood feels the Blues: Top stars support strike for better wages
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... Cine Employees, the umbrella union for Bollywood employees. "The producers have not stuck to the terms of the agreement they signed with us one-and-a-half years back."Payments have been delayed by three ...

11. Bush declares War on Capitalism
(World/World)

... attention and keep people confused. Manage the news cycle so Congress and the public have no time to examine who destroyed the prudent banking system that served America so well for 60 years after the ...

12. Terrible Tuesday
(Editorial/Editorial)

... to view from this angle and go back in time, 3 years to be precise when this deal was being presented to the world, an advisor to the US govt, Ashley Tellis, gave a thumbs-up because India had supported ...

13. Politics, Media and 123
(Editorial/Editorial)

... and critic, 1894-1963 The above, rather long, paragraphs were needed mostly for me to clear the jumbled matrix that the Indo-Nuclear agreement had become in my mind. I think that it was about 3 years ...

14. The Confessions of a Finance Professional
(Business/Business)

... Years of experience has taught the astrologer to give non-standard yet satisfactory replies to these standard questions even to the most intelligent clients. Interesting, isn't it? Or is it mastery ...

15. Eco-Terrorism
(Editorial/Editorial)

... for a donation for some "real cutting-edge technology" to give to African farmers: namely, a plough. And I went duh? I mean a plough cuts through the soil and has been doing it for more than 500 years ...

16. India Wins World Sports-Viewing Championship
(Sports/Sports)

... events around the world, we have learned to appreciate and enjoy viewing other sports too, including sports like football where we are ranked around 154th in the world. In last few years, sports viewing has ...

17. Happy Birthday, Dubya!!
(Editorial/Editorial)

... power for the last twenty years, the entire country would be oil free by now. 14. The Government has promoted a diet of fat-saturated fast-foods, and hormone and antibiotic saturated beef, pigs, poultry, ...

18. Kissa Kursi Ka
(National/National)

... not himan interest stories that pep the morning cuppa, that Sonia G never forgets a slight, however old it may be. But the Italiano Sposa[Italian bride] has grudgingly grown over the years and begun to ...

19. MNC Launches Another Product We Dont Care About
(Business/Business)

... the multinational company, of course, which spent two years researching on the needs and habits of Indian consumers and spent an estimated 20 million American dollars to perfect the detergent to meet ...

20. Pickled Politics
(Editorial/Editorial)

Approximately 4 years back, the picture of a smug Sonia Gandhi, outside the Parliament and a shy demure Manmohan Singh with a two-step behind, making the grand 'sacrifice' and appointing the sardar as ...