Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

1. Mum's the word
(Sports/Sports)

... will agree with me when I say that the last few years have seen an exponential rise in the prevalence of unnecessary chat on the field of play during cricket matches. Shockingly enough, the men and women ...

2. Rahul Mahajunk: I'm qualified to become India's Bigg Boss
(People/Life/People/Life)

... politics is the reality of current politics. I'm well-experienced in the field of coalition politics. Look at my track record. In last few years, Ive have had varied partners and shared my bathtubs ...

3. Satyamave Jayate
(National/National)

... together, to show those people the truth that a Marathi will remain a Marathi first and never become an Indian. Since the dawn of this year, we all have been receiving this message of truth, through an ...

4. Oxford-Webster dictionaries to redefine the word 'terrorist'
(World/World)

... the biggest victims of terrorism in the last hundred years are unable to recognize terrorism originating from non-Muslims, then there must be certainly something wrong with our definition of terrorism!" ...

5. Bush exit will be a huge blow to comedians
(World/World)

With US presidential results declared, while the entire world is feeling relieved that the eight-year rule of George W Bush, marred by disastrous wars, massive foreign policy blunders and near-economic ...

6. India wins freedom from Ekta's empire
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

After an eight-year long struggle to free the minds of the nation from the diabolic grip of soap-queen Ekta Kapoor, India will be finally liberated from the clutches of the longest running soap in the ...

7. Mad Cow disease outbreak in quarters of India Inc
(Business/Business)

... to digest. They were going gaga even a year back and now the situation is completely different. Let us just examine some unusual reactions. Ratan Tata writes a open letter today to the people of West ...

8. What experts say: Panic!
(Business/Business)

...  "By and large what we have is a liquidity crisis," says Aliber. "Banks depend more than anyone on the constant availability of credit, and they're in a much worse position than they were a year ago. Therefore, ...

9. Bullshit Alert!
(World/World)

... to running out of bullshit. Scientist and leading peak bullshit proponent, Robert Matthew, said that every year politicians are using up exponential amounts of bullshit, a trend that began in earnest ...

10. One Hundred years of Celibacy
(People/Life/People/Life)

... before retiring 40 years ago in Cornwall. Our intrepid reporter, Anshul, sought and was granted a phone interview. Anshul is no stranger to women, especially Raakhi Saawant and Paris Hilton. We reproduce ...

11. Bollywood feels the Blues: Top stars support strike for better wages
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... Cine Employees, the umbrella union for Bollywood employees. "The producers have not stuck to the terms of the agreement they signed with us one-and-a-half years back."Payments have been delayed by three ...

12. Bush declares War on Capitalism
(World/World)

... attention and keep people confused. Manage the news cycle so Congress and the public have no time to examine who destroyed the prudent banking system that served America so well for 60 years after the ...

13. Virgin Auction
(People/Life/People/Life)

"Natalie Dylan", the 22-year-old San Diego woman who is auctioning her virginity to pay her tuition is a Women's Studies grad.Her decision to prostitute herself is the natural result of an "education" ...

14. Terrible Tuesday
(Editorial/Editorial)

... to view from this angle and go back in time, 3 years to be precise when this deal was being presented to the world, an advisor to the US govt, Ashley Tellis, gave a thumbs-up because India had supported ...

15. Politics, Media and 123
(Editorial/Editorial)

... and critic, 1894-1963 The above, rather long, paragraphs were needed mostly for me to clear the jumbled matrix that the Indo-Nuclear agreement had become in my mind. I think that it was about 3 years ...

16. The Confessions of a Finance Professional
(Business/Business)

... Years of experience has taught the astrologer to give non-standard yet satisfactory replies to these standard questions even to the most intelligent clients. Interesting, isn't it? Or is it mastery ...

17. Eco-Terrorism
(Editorial/Editorial)

... for a donation for some "real cutting-edge technology" to give to African farmers: namely, a plough. And I went duh? I mean a plough cuts through the soil and has been doing it for more than 500 years ...

18. India Wins World Sports-Viewing Championship
(Sports/Sports)

... events around the world, we have learned to appreciate and enjoy viewing other sports too, including sports like football where we are ranked around 154th in the world. In last few years, sports viewing has ...

19. Happy Birthday, Dubya!!
(Editorial/Editorial)

... power for the last twenty years, the entire country would be oil free by now. 14. The Government has promoted a diet of fat-saturated fast-foods, and hormone and antibiotic saturated beef, pigs, poultry, ...

20. Shilpa Shetty Gets A Diverse Award
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

Shilpa Shetty has done it again. The 31-year-old does not have the kind of audience pull a top actress such as Aishwarya Rai, Rani Mukherjee or Preity Zinta possesses. But she certainly has the knack ...