Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

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Mar 13th
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... and everything in between. Recently, they walked out 16 times in a single day over the Women’s Bill. We swooped in today after they walked out over…….food prices or petrol prices or something like that.” ...
... separate sheet of paper giving complete description in not less than 100,000 words) c) If you are a good-for-nothing housewife how many times in a day do you: Gossip ...
... she’s old) as the face of India. We should encourage women like Nicolette Bird to join politics. “See. These are the evil intentions of the present UPA government. Laloo and I were right all the time ...
... in the first over." "This isn't all. BCCI has time and again proved that it's a very bad corporate citizen having very poor ethics. Greg Chappell was enjoying his retirement when they offered him ...
... the course of the interview, Hussain admitted that most of the misunderstandings have arisen because his painting techniques have detoriated with time. "I can't paint to save my life. In the tiger and ...
... me 33 times. I will believe they are my sisters if they come here and also get raped like us women” From Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, Renuka Rao, “Now the Telengana problem will be solved in the bedrooms ...
... time. A theory that has not been applied is as good as a discourse on Bhagwat Gita. Everyone listens to it, nods his/her head and does what he/she wants to do. What I was doing that night was ...
8. God Convicted of Mass Killing
(Science/Science)
... killing thousands , sometimes even lacs, of people indiscriminately." added the scientist. Evidence of god's crimes against humanity is overwhelming, according to the scientists. "Our biggest problem ...
... a Garamtapak. At the time of clicking the enter key of this desktop, we have reliably learnt that ACLU (All Colleges Ladies Union) has termed the introduction of HotShots/GaramTapaks as expanding ...
... stadium? The score line was 5 against India and one for India. We had more goals!!” “Duh”  And so the conspiracy theory’s abound every time Indian players are sent off the field or the rules of the ...
Close on the heels of the scramble for online-dictionaries at 1am local time in Riyadh, the “breaking-news” afflicted visual media journalists were sent into a tizzy as news came out that the Kadavul of ...
12. Manmohan bitch-slapped
(National/National)
... your lap for a moment, ji or will Pranab tax this too?” “Sonyo, do you know why I talk to you? It’s because you give me ideas. Just imagine, if there was a 1-rupee tax, which will be levied every time ...
... tur dal now, ma?” “As you please, ayya” “You see, us gramvaasis think that tough times call for radical solutions and you must admit that these are tough days, ma” “You bet! That stingy editor-cum-publisher ...
14. Go-Ogle AdNonSense
(Business/Business)
... with his latest role as a kid affected with Progeria. At the time of clicking ’enter’ to web-publish this report, his latest-latest film ‘Teen-Patti’ where he plays the role of a card-sharp is opening ...
... official spokesman. Some consumers feel that forgetting this trauma is the best way to go. “I was really messed up for a few days. But I realized that I needed to stop vomiting on strangers every time ...
16. Still Disappointed after a Double Hundred
(People/Life/People/Life)
... NDTV, CNN-IBN, Times NOW and several other news channels who in a state of frenzied excitement were airing congratulatory messages of tweeters, totally ignored his tweets leaving him disappointed. coolguy84 ...
17. Local man 140% better than you
(People/Life/People/Life)
... 11 months that he gained on you is worth at least another 10%. Don’t cringe, it’s alright. You could probably recover some lost ground, although I don’t know if you can catch up anytime soon. His life ...
... personal records of Lord Sachin Tendulkar to ensure that vagaries of time do not obliterate the real truth of his life and his godhood. "Thousands or perhaps even millions of years from now, ...
... by his Rs.200 crore Lux Cozi empire, but at no point of time anyone in this country made a serious attempt to put an end to his cash inflow." "The media of this country kept bemoaning how rich and ...
... the deceased chief minister of Andhra Pradesh who in his lifetime on earth had played the roles of all Hindu gods  in Tollywood movies, informed him solemnly that in heavenly worlds all unfulfilled ...
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