Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

1. Mum's the word
(Sports/Sports)

... the very same idea for their brand. Interestingly, the team that suggested this most original idea for M-Seal happens to be from the very same advertising agency that is now suggesting this no-longer-so-original ...

2. M-Seal offers to sponsor BCCI Selection Committee meetings
(Sports/Sports)

... things that can be caused by leaks, they can put a serious question mark on the authority of the captain of the Indian cricket team. Now, now, we certainly can’t have that, can we? Well, not anymore. Not ...

3. Bullshit Alert!
(World/World)

... for granted. Most of the population of the world was raised on abundance of cheap bullshit flowing endlessly from their politicians, business leaders, religious charlatans and great rivers of hot steamy ...

4. India Wins World Sports-Viewing Championship
(Sports/Sports)

... titles in a row and equal Bjorn Borg's record of 41 wins at the venue. The big boys of Formula One stepped on the gas at Silverstone. And Mahendra Dhoni and his team clashed against Sri Lanka in the ...

5. 123-The Indian Reality show
(National/National)

... Bhavan Main Participants: Team SMS (Manu-ji, Madam-Ji with friends) Team Karat (Karat-ji, Vardhan-ji with comrades) Team Kamal (Advani-ji,Rajnath-ji and Swyamsevaks) Timings: 24*7 On this ...

6. 25th of June should be declared a Public Holiday
(Sports/Sports)

... nation we are! Twenty-five years ago our un-fancied team traveled to the then mecca of cricket as underdogs who had never won a single game in the previous editions of the world cup and went on to achieve ...

7. Splitsville?
(People/Life/People/Life)

June's Vanity Fair has hit the stands with a steamy profile written by Purdum T dropping broad hints that the 42nd President, the Horny Dog in Chief, has lost his marbles rather than the hard which was ...

8. Indian Idol
(National/National)

... Goebbelsian education or renovation of decaying forts around the western ghats. Who cares if the forts fall down? The builder mafia could then sell the area available to rich playboys who have cricket teams ...

9. Common Sense Expires
(Editorial/Editorial)

... sue you for assault. And he finally gave up the will to live, after a stupid woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was actually hot and spilt a little on her clefted-lap, and was promptly ...

10. Uncontacted Amazon tribe reports its closest-ever UFO sighting
(World/World)

... and made public. People have a right to know the truth about aliens" Seetho Juan, spokesman of the elders said that the governing body has sent a fact-finding team to find out the veracity of the claims ...

11. Martian Or Tibetan
(Science/Science)

... hill. The creature appears to be sitting there lifeless. Scientists in NASA have claimed that the creature was part of an official torch bearing team for Martian Olympics and may have frozen to death ...

12. Uncle Murti plays Big Brother
(Editorial/Editorial)

... sure now. Probably he was not getting his fair share of attention from the girls here. His sense of humour was pathetic but everyone in his team dutifully lol-ed and rotfl-ed their messages on the intranet. ...

13. Cricket fanatic waxes eloquent on his love for the game
(Sports/Sports)

... at extremely high speeds? Whether my favorite team wins or loses, the glorious game of cricket always provides me with ample opportunities to strike up a conversation with my office or room mates. ...

14. Dear SMS
(National/National)

... books of Sonia G. Please bring that 4am-chicken-curry-in-ghee with steaming idlis-eating Finance Minister to help me balance my home budget without deficit and dipping into my non existing general ...

15. Justice Or TRP
(National/National)

... investigation is immediately launched and we had teams of Sherlock and Watson from each channel storming the Talwar household. Suddenly from nowhere we h ad forensic experts, crime investigators ...

16. India & Pakistan resume doing what they love most
(World/World)

... our junior officials are strict vegetarians." Salman Bashir apologized for the lapse and promised that the next time the Indian team visits Islamabad for talks, they would find no cause for complain. ...

17. Hindustan Unilever launches detergent powder that cleans whiter than 'white'
(Business/Business)

... we go now, I asked my team of scientists. 'We create a brand new shade of white' was the response of our scientific team which worked hard for six months to create a new brand of white color which is ...

18. Fat Scientist Debunks Obesity-Global Warming Link
(Science/Science)

...  According to Dr. Moore, the study carried by Phil Edwards and his team is unscientific, highly flawed and ignores many vital factors that if taken into account would negate the results of their study. ...

19. Warne: In Australia there is no danger of accidental death
(Sports/Sports)

... according to media reports. Rajasthan Royals' Warne, Watson, Smith and team manager Darren Berry - now holidaying in Goa - are very scared after the incident and are refusing to return to Jaipur. They ...

20. Scientists Find Link Between Oppressive Regimes & Natural Disasters
(Science/Science)

... has been rocked by an earthquake." said Dr. Phil Wancomb, leader of the team doing the study. "Add to it the fact that in the list of all-time top ten deadliest disasters, China, a country that ...