Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

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Mar 11th
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... the Bill to the extent of almost assaulting a poor helpless old man who was trying to placate the mass orgy in the Orgy House, also known as the Parliament. The country was shocked at the behaviour of ...
...  Mr. John Keeplan, talking to media after lodging the FIR said, ”I know what you are thinking. That Australians are either racist or sore losers. None of that is true. Cricket Australia could have ...
... an emotionally degenerate humanity. In our 21st century egalitarian era, females are simply more equal. Children no longer know their dads as loving parents. Contrary to all evidence he is portrayed ...
... poor jokes about Nityananda must allow the law to take its course. You have been misguided by the TRP crazy news channels. I know you are feeling ashamed because your favorite Baba has been caught ...
5. God Convicted of Mass Killing
(Science/Science)
... silence. But some say, the recent earthquakes in Haiti and Chile which killed over 2 lac people was god's preemptive response to the judgement. "God is all knowing. He knew in advance that stupid scientists ...
... by any European Government has historically been against Zionism. Their spokesperson, a Mr. Kwacknowski, termed the production as a conspiracy against Israeli boys because it would subvert them and ...
... do you know the video footage was tampered?” “Arrey bhai, I told you know, the FIH officials have always discriminated against us, they brought in astro-turf so that our skills were of no use. A hockey ...
... word at 1am and all hell broke loose because the journalists did not understand what was the meaning because they did not know proper English and also they were hitting on the free liquid refreshments. ...
9. Manmohan bitch-slapped
(National/National)
... and besides she has halitosis, sonyo” Wiping her hands on the duppatta and going all misty-eyed, Gursharan says, “ Sonyo? do you know it has been exactly 64 days since you called me that. Can I sit on ...
... 8th standard failed, and asked him to do some elementary mathematics.” “Mathematics and the Budget, that’s interesting, go ahead, ayya! Mayandi beams and carries on, “ Well, we know that our country ...
11. Go-Ogle AdNonSense
(Business/Business)
... be delivered to the Board of Directors of Go-Ogle Inc to commemorate their in-vitro birthing. Gosh! Never knew that there would be so many people out there who didn’t know how to fuck! When I watched Sandra ...
... not know that Hrithik Roshan and that Italian chick actually had sex while preparing these biscuits. I felt weird when it tasted salty sweet and smelt like some sort of musky industrial solvent. When ...
13. Still Disappointed after a Double Hundred
(People/Life/People/Life)
... as he is more popularly known on social networking sites. The moment Sachin Tendulkar scored his double century, coolguy84 set out to create his own world record. He logged into his twitter account ...
14. Local man 140% better than you
(People/Life/People/Life)
... 11 months that he gained on you is worth at least another 10%. Don’t cringe, it’s alright. You could probably recover some lost ground, although I don’t know if you can catch up anytime soon. His life ...
... "Today's hyperbole or exaggeration might become tomorrow's truth" said Soni. "Who knows whether Lord Rama was really a godly incarnation or just an ordinary king who got elevated to the position of a living ...
... getting calls from Amla and the Match Referee. I did not know Amla was still at the ground. He asked for the floodlights, and I couldn’t say no or else the public might think I’m discriminating against ...
17. Tweet the Truth on Twitter
(Science/Science)
... 'My Name is Khan' in India. As is well known, the talks between Bollywood superstar Shahrukh Khan and Shiv Sena Chief Bal Thackeray had broken down due to lack of trust between the two. All efforts ...
... job to do, we also have a job to keep India’s tricolour flying. We know what our success means to millions of fans across the world and we are prepared to walk on the fire to bring honour and glory ...
19. Help Save This Tiger Too
(Sports/Sports)
... at both fronts, home and professional. He was candid enough to admit that a 45-day re-orientation program was just not enough to get over the after-effects of skinny-dipping in unknown wells ...
20. It’s not Cricket
(Sports/Sports)
...  “And you didn’t know why the crowd cheered and roared?” “Naah! One thing I noticed was that, there was a gentleman in black trousers that always got excited and waved his arms after the cheers! ...
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