Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

1. SaturnicShip-One
(World/World)

... of course also on black leather garments that come with whips and screams by some hired Huendins. You are just trying to distract all of us that the Earthlings would send supply ships to take back all ...

2. Terrible Tuesday
(Editorial/Editorial)

... logistical support for US military operations in Asia". So as a first step, the trust vote has to be won today, just to show that despite the squabble and grab, the Govt. of India has the backing of the ...

3. Politics, Media and 123
(Editorial/Editorial)

... by the various parties before the 21st, is just what it is...a whip to our minds too as we are dissuaded that the Rs.60, 000 crores cake is what is at stake, so that political careers going into the sunset ...

4. The Confessions of a Finance Professional
(Business/Business)

... extrapolate such calculations to the next few years adjusting the prices to what we think is 'reasonable', never mind that the commodity prices are gyrating by the hour. If we decide, a four per cent variation ...

5. Minimum City
(People/Life/People/Life)

... having occupied the prized seat it is your duty to look out and do justice to the seat. The window seat facing the tail end of the train compartment is a sort of a runner-up trophy. The seat next ...

6. Eco-Terrorism
(Editorial/Editorial)

The previous occupant of my flat here must have been one, bitten by the green bug or had a huge guilt complex. Of late, my pastime is just to catalog the various exhortations that drop in through the mail ...

7. Happy Birthday, Dubya!!
(Editorial/Editorial)

... economy over humanity in a value system that shamelessly sponsors injustice, inequity, and slavery, not only in America but around the world, regarding people in developing nations not as brothers and ...

8. Shilpa Shetty Gets A Diverse Award
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... the honor. Prior to the actresses participation in the history-making Big Brother show, she was considered just another small-time bollywood item girl and remembered more for her flat tummy than her ...

9. Kissa Kursi Ka
(National/National)

When she was just a hop, skip and a jump away, in 1999, Sonia G was denied the coveted prize of the PM's kursi by the diminutive Mulayam who did'nt provide the crucial 4 legged support. Since then a long ...

10. Hypocratic Oath
(Science/Science)

... of practice; I will keep them in harm and injustice so as to fill my coffers. I will  give a deadly drug to anybody who did not ask for it, and will  make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will  ...

11. MNC Launches Another Product We Dont Care About
(Business/Business)

... & Gambler (P&G) Company, today announced the launch of a new detergent powder named 'Chamko' - a detergent powder just like any other detergent powder in a market saturated with more detergent powders ...

12. Pickled Politics
(Editorial/Editorial)

... an ancient branch of Shakuni and Narada's illegitimate offspring, the Commies who can be trusted to behave like the proverbial bull  in the china shop just when its close to shuttering down time. They ...

13. 123-The Indian Reality show
(National/National)

... mind not just Samajwadi Party," Mulayam Singh said. He is a little miffed about the fact that with all the rumors being bandied about in the political circles that his party is lending support ...

14. 'Lets Eat The Chinese Tonight'
(Editorial/Editorial)

... of free markets are already justifiably eliminating millions of barbarians who stand in the way of the proliferation of the American Way. In fact, we are doing those wretches a favor by putting them ...

15. 25th of June should be declared a Public Holiday
(Sports/Sports)

... on which a new religion was born, a day of such importance should be treated as just another boring, ordinary day. The least we can do to honour the heroes who defeated the mighty windies on that memorable ...

16. Inducat and Mousie game
(National/National)

... have rid three Kalupur pols (localities) of the mousie menace in just over a month’s time. How they did it is a guidebook to all the future aspiring Chief Mousieterminators and would require amongst other ...

17. Indian Scientists Debate: Is "Flying Spaghetti Monster" for real?
(Science/Science)

... of the Department of Condensed Matter Physics and Material Sciences, TIFR. "Flying Spaghetti Monster being the creator of life is just an unproved theory. There is no contradiction simply because scientists are ...

18. What Wrong did I do ?
(National/National)

... the affairs' of the state. I feel I have served them more obediently than any other topi-waalah. But just like Sharadji I too had some ambitions; I didn't want to go down as the dumbest Prime Minister ...

19. Drive-by Charity
(Editorial/Editorial)

... out to meet some of my friends, just arrived from the humid southern metro known as Chennai and on the local suburban had my pocket rearranged with an empty vacuity that defines rootlessness thrust suddenly ...

20. Laluji Kehat hain
(National/National)

... like a child. He wants the Nuclear wuclear deal with US passed, even if it happens at the cost of the Govt. Tell me who in his correct sense of mind would leave PM ki kursi just for the sake of Nuclear deal ...