Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

1. Terrible Tuesday
(Editorial/Editorial)

... good news for our democracy. Our system, despite its  imperfections is based on the idea that governments privilege their survival over all else. The idea that a government may imperil its own existence ...

2. Minimum City
(People/Life/People/Life)

... step on someone's toes. Jumping in and out of running trains develops your athletic skills. Mumbai locals provide good training ground for future Olympic games stars (Can you possibly beat someone ...

3. India Wins World Sports-Viewing Championship
(Sports/Sports)

... India so good at sports-viewing? Several factors come into play making sports-viewing a favorite activity of urban India's male population. Firstly, lack of adequate number of playgrounds. As soon ...

4. Shilpa Shetty Gets A Diverse Award
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... clashing swords with Jade Goody and Danielle Lloyd, two low-grade white trash. According to the organizers of the award, she has been granted this award for 'showing restraint and handling racist remarks ...

5. Kissa Kursi Ka
(National/National)

... understand the mindset of the political opportunists of Inda; she knows how difficult it will be coming back to power again unless she has some "good" allies. The rising inflation has made her task more ...

6. Pickled Politics
(Editorial/Editorial)

... on the 33% reservation for women bill with their collective bumms[note the last 3 letters in the previous word], in the full glare of public TV was a bit too much. They bided their time, as all good ...

7. Indian Scientists Debate: Is "Flying Spaghetti Monster" for real?
(Science/Science)

... other bunch that cannot even come to a definite conclusion whether chocolate is good or bad for health, but fancies that they have discovered how the universe was created 14 billions years back without the ...

8. Laluji Kehat hain
(National/National)

... fir 5 years.I'll ask Rabriji and tell how much I am sort of. Another situation that's hurting me is inflationwa.Evreybody used to say PC is a good finance minister,he may be a good finance minister ...

9. Balaji Telefilms soap KGGK to go off air after failing to cash on Arushi Murder Case
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... 2008 because of  failing to maintain its pathetic low standards. "Despite having all the regular ingredients that go into the making of a low-brow soap like evil bahus plotting against good bahus, hostile takeovers ...

10. Litter-ate India: We dont need no "educational exercise"
(National/National)

... Since we treat our homes as extensions of our bodies (both being our private domains where we are kings and all that), we take great care to keep our interiors in good condition and leave the chaos ...

11. The Fixer
(Editorial/Editorial)

... by sultry night. In fact your country is more restrictive on Freedom of speech than ours. Hate is a strong motivator than love. Look at Gujarat. That is a very good example of Hitlerian dogma than any ...

12. India to teach white people how to walk
(National/National)

... whites to learn walking, we will be also teaching them about the multiple benefits of walking. Trainees would be taught how walking your way to work apart from being good for the environment and saving ...

13. Ask iChick
(Ask iChick/Ask iChick)

... good part...the sad part is a dame who sits behind me who obviously loves telugu music keeps playing these songs every damn day...Now I do like music but being forced to listen to something you just don't ...

14. Common Sense Expires
(Editorial/Editorial)

We regretfully announce the passing of a good old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for ages. We didnt know how old he was, since his birth records were lost to the media-plague of disinformation ...

15. Shiv Khera: You can win, but you are likely to lose
(People/Life/People/Life)

... in it wisdom that will help you in coping with failure and disappointment. Thank you for inviting me and good luck. Trust me, you will need lot of it. ...

16. Rakhi Sawant: I will love to be Indian Sharon Stone
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... After having it, we bid goodbye to the loving couple. Whatever others say, Rakhi could be described as what Abhishek says "Woh jo bhee kartee hai shaan se kartee hai".  ...

17. Uncontacted Amazon tribe reports its closest-ever UFO sighting
(World/World)

... of this theory also believe that five decades ago, the elders made a secret pact with the whites under which the whites will provide us with goods manufactured by them in exchange of free access to our ...

18. Martian Or Tibetan
(Science/Science)

... past five decades, and it claims to be making good progress. The Mars Lander took this image when it was carrying the Beijing Olympic torch to the highest mountain on mars this year. The Chinese government ...

19. Sharon Stone: Did Ghandi put his foot in his mouth too?
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... that. And then I’ve been, this, you know, concerned about, oh, how should we deal with the Olympics, because they’re not being nice to the Dalai Lama who is a good friend of mine. And then all this earthquake ...

20. Uncle Murti plays Big Brother
(Editorial/Editorial)

... too!! I climbed breathlessly into the cab, pulled out my mobile as I said a loud Good Morning to everyone seated inside. Mr Libran, the Sys Admin nodded and looked away. As I plugged in my headphones and ...