Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

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Mar 13th
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... and walked away into the sunset with freshly minted Rs. 1000 notes falling out of his arse. In other news, Amit Kumar, 27, also unearthed an inconsistency in his wife’s credit card bill. This inconsistency ...
2. God Convicted of Mass Killing
(Science/Science)
After tens of thousands of years of getting away with murder of billions of earthlings, God, creator of universe and of billions of humans, was today convicted of mass killing of people by the Supreme ...
... Google Earth's pictures of his birthplace, the government will also store thousands of screenshots of twitter trend #SachinIsGod as pictorial evidence that inhabitants of India during the era of Sachin ...
... on earth, he couldn't find any sign of life in the place. Not even a barking stray dog. Or even a mosquito. Frustrated at finding himself in a barren wasteland, feeling terribly lonely, desolate ...
... Vishnu feels that changing tracks after the recent blast in Bharatvarsha's town of Punya Nagari will amount to succumbing to forces opposed to peace between the two gods and their empires on Planet Earth. ...
... Competition here today. I was present at the event and was completely numb by the end of it. This is the first time in recent history that God came down to earth in the form of a human being. He claimed ...
... heart is still in the right place (behind his voluptuous man-boobs). Tendulkar will request viewers not to consider IPCC reports on heating of earth and melting of glaciers as erotic fiction, just because ...
... Thackeray to reporters. “The award has been given to me for services to India. What bullcrap! I don’t even remember that there is a country called India on this earth, so how can I serve it? All ...
... to heaven and met 72 beautiful virgins that refuse to have sex with me, I don't know what I would do to those horses and camels, especially since I have to abstain from sex on earth. I don't want to end ...
After watching a special screening of the Hollywood blockbuster of the season, Roland Emmerich's doomsday movie 2012, the gods of heavenly realms unanimously voted to unleash doom on planet earth and extinguish ...
... to accept or handle.   Baba BlackKurta, India's foremost television tantrik blessed with mysterious powers to discern 'Shani' Devta's effects on every human on earth, after studying the natal charts ...
... considers him as one of the all-time greatest legends to have walked on the face of the earth. Delighted at being interviewed about the man he admires most in his life, Raghu soon launched ...
13. Nobel from Hell!
(World/World)
... be the One and only one saviour a.k.a the survivor. It is never easy to select and honor that one special individual. It takes more than just experiences in life and achievements on the earth to ...
News from the beyond: (Translated from Eubberish by Babelfish Intergalactic Translation Services):  Europa, Jupiter's fourth largest moon and sixth largest moon of the solar system will bomb Earth to confirm ...
... on earth. I'm sorry that I was born. Please forgive me.  ...
... done? What if there is a big fucking explosive war? Our earth will become our fucking enemy. Our air will become fucking fire. Our rivers will turn into fucking poison. We will all fucking burn. There ...
... then compared Narendra Modi to the sixth avataar of Vishnu, Parashurama, who killed 21 generations of Kshtriyas on earth filling five ponds with blood to avenge the death of his father, Jamadagni at the ...
... the satellite from us? Here are a few loony theories that I've developed after looking up on the net for moon-related conspiracy theories. The Devil Stole its Soul: If our planet earth can have ...
... form suggest that millions of people are fascinated by his highly-evolved body. Perhaps he was a traveler from our future to the past who visited earth to show off his remarkably evolved body and influence ...
... Goddamn Space Flight Center. It requires an astounding leap of faith to believe that NASA, an agency which has on its employee rolls some of the brightest and most intelligent people on earth, was dumb ...
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