Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

1. SaturnicShip-One
(World/World)

... frothing from two of his seven mouths. The other five mouths were tightly shut. They were tightly shut because the Vice-President, Dumbus Chickeney had taped them with the Velcro roll that the Earth probe ...

2. Eco-Terrorism
(Editorial/Editorial)

... and India down at the 167th on Planet Earth. it all depends on which side of the line you are. The goras put the environment at the centre while we put the people at the centre. Thus, the matrix changes. ...

3. 'Lets Eat The Chinese Tonight'
(Editorial/Editorial)

... A rapidly dwindling water supply. Capitalism under siege. We are facing a nightmare, ladies and gentlemen. AND the Earth is grossly over-populated. At 35,000 deaths a day, our de facto culling process ...

4. Marathi American
(National/National)

... to defend the earth against terrorism. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of our world. These acts shattered steel, but they cannot dent ...

5. Indian Idol
(National/National)

... and F1 teams at a fancy price. There is no dearth of such rich idiots who dont know what to do with their money fleeced from the sheeple. The poor uninformed, western educated Kumar K did not know that ...

6. Common Sense Expires
(Editorial/Editorial)

... their mundane lives as wage slaves and not stopping to smell the roses along the way and smelling the wet Earth after a bout of spring-scented first summer shower; very few realised he was gone. RIP, friend. ...

7. Ctrl+Alt+Del
(Editorial/Editorial)

... Palestine, not a whimper of protest is raised by anyone anywhere. Its as if all of this was happening in Mars and not on Earth. For example out there in Palestine, IDF tanks destroy homes, use the protesting ...

8. Martian Or Tibetan
(Science/Science)

... while carrying the torch on top of the hill. This discovery is an important development in the race for colonization of space, which currently planet Earth being in the lead. We don't have reports from ...

9. Sharon Stone: Did Ghandi put his foot in his mouth too?
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... said. On Tuesday night at Cannes Film Festival, Stone earned some bad karma for herself by saying that the recent earthquake that hit China and killed over 70,000 people was caused by the bad karma of ...

10. Chinese Speak: Tibetans cause for our woes
(Editorial/Editorial)

... politics something will happen in and around 2010. At that time the world powers will threaten to destroy each other. The recent earthquake in southwestern China, specifically, in the capitol ...

11. Fat Scientist Debunks Obesity-Global Warming Link
(Science/Science)

... be blamed for the rising temperatures of earth. According to Tim Bollocks, researcher leading team of scientists at Princetown University, elephants are one of the prime contributors to global warming ...

12. Warne: In Australia there is no danger of accidental death
(Sports/Sports)

... attacks." Warne refused to accept that accidental deaths are a part of life. "Not in Australia. In my country, we face no terrorism, no earthquakes, floods or deadly cyclones. Australians only die ...

13. Scientists Find Link Between Oppressive Regimes & Natural Disasters
(Science/Science)

... of natural disasters in the last decade, they have discovered an intriguing co-relation between oppressive regimes that need a change and disasters like cyclones, earthquakes and tsunamis. "The link ...

14. Aliens Baptized
(Science/Science)

... as saying the vastness of the universe means, " It is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones. And we should be careful in iniating contact. We should identify ...

15. Worm in the Apple
(Editorial/Editorial)

... the Apple of Uncle Sam's eye, it risks getting obliterated from the face of the earth. She was quite candid to the BBC which went to New Jersey later to file the second part of the double smack-down. Reporting ...

16. Nation realizes that India's pride Sunita Williams just a 'glorified passenger'
(National/National)

Thiruvananthapuram: Sunita Williams, second female of Indian origin to have roamed the vastness of space outside the atmosphere of our earth, was once India's pride and glory. The NASA astronaut who ...

17. Lord Rama Dismayed At The Quality of NDTV Imagine's Ramayana
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... the favorite gods of the masses would look, talk, walk, whine like" "I had originally planned my comeback to planet earth as Lord Kalki (of course with some additional soul-input from my oversoul - ...

18. Wherever you go, you will find Microsoft
(Business/Business)

... entered the lives of most of the people on earth; whenever they open their computers they use a Microsoft product. We now intend to extend this a little bit to ensure that wherever people go they find ...

19. Nalini Sriharan: I wanted to see the earth shake
(National/National)

... man. Why was he killed? Nalini: I wanted to see the earth shake. Priyanka: I don't understand you. Tell me who were involved? Was there any political party involved? Nalini: I do not know anything about ...

20. Onion Uttapam Special Update on Earth Hour
(World/World)

... chosen hour was 8 o clock on the 29th of March, 2008.   Did it make a difference? Yes. 24 global cities participated in the earth hour. These 24 cities reduced their power consumption during the day ...