Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

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Mar 13th
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Total: 46 results found.

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1. Go-Ogle AdNonSense
(Business/Business)
... considered to be the Goddess of wealth in India and thanks to his company’s new-policy, Lakshmi has doubled her showers of cents on my previously fucked-up bank account. How come? The fucking ‘Puritans’ ...
2. Tweet the Truth on Twitter
(Science/Science)
...  place. The new feature, which has been named as 'Twitter truth' (http://truth.twitter.com) is result of a new algorithm developed by the company which ensures that whenever you tweet, you tweet only ...
3. It’s not Cricket
(Sports/Sports)
... I wonder why?” “What? You don’t know the game and yet purchased the tickets?” “Cool, yaar, I did it for my girl friend! She was the one who shelled out the money! I had to accompany her coz she ...
... or sell it or something, Anil Ambani went crying to some court on behalf of his company, Reliance Natural Resources Limited (RNRL). RNRL hired a team of fatass lawyers that came up with some complicated ...
... of newly-launched company 'The TV Killing Machine" that promises to liberate you from the emotional atyaachaar of energy-sucking television shows and eliminate TV stars, over-dramatic anchors of news channels ...
... is being played. "Once I was in the midst of an office meeting attended by my company's clients. I forgot to switch off my mobile. Unfortunately it rang just when the vice-president of sales was making ...
... manufacturing company with whom he has signed a multi-million dollar endorsement deal, may not renew his contract. A spokesman of the company said the company is surprised at this unexpected development ...
... asking repeatedly to us,  'What's there to talk about me?' "I'm just an ordinary guy, a regular Joe, who slogs for a software company for a living and spends his spare time watching cricket, movies and ...
... Not one to rest on his laurels, Mukesh Ambani is keen to take his austerity drive on an entirely new orbit. Yesterday evening at a press conference held at his company headquarters, Ambani announced a ...
10. War of the Words
(World/World)
... of discrimination, which starts drooling with excitement whenever anything remotely connected to Indian cultural landmass gets approval from westerners. A press release by a little-known American company ...
11. Low Voter Turnout in Mumbai. Why?
(National/National)
Despite anger over 26/11 attacks and heavily promoted nationwide campaign by a tea company to wake up voters, Mumbai witnessed only a 43 % voter turnout, 4% lower compared to previous elections. The low ...
... or perfume company and would be eventually forgotten when another edition of "I-want-to-become-famous-as-the-best-looking-chick-of-some-bigger-place-this-year" contest will select some other hottie to ...
13. (Open only if you are below 18-)
(National/National)
... if they need to be reminded by a tea company to cast their vote, they obviously don't have the maturity needed to choose the right candidates. Tell them that even if they are mature enough to cast their ...
... revenues and share prices respectively, the entire top management of the company have faced the axe. Low tolerance to poor performance in the backdrop of global economic turmoil has contributed very significantly ...
... has received hot response so far. There are several packages up for grabs. As part of a package, tourists can accompany politicians on their campaigns as they prepare for the Lok Sabha elections ...
... of the expected semi-violent protests by rowdies belonging to culture-vulture departments of the hindutva brigade. The company today at a press conference held at Mangalore unveiled its plans for capturing ...
17. Lord Rama disowns Sri Ram Sena
(National/National)
... and various fruits. Being inebriated the beautiful Apsaras, well-skilled in the art of singing and dancing, began to dance before Rama in the company of Kinnaris. The virtuous-souled Rama, the foremost ...
... Count me out of the religious triangle. In the religious world two is company and three is a crowd. But its all about the hucksters wherever you find them. God knows we've suffered through the last eight ...
19. The Big Fight
(Entertainment/Entertainment)
... in their own inimitable ways. Lets first welcome our terrorist. Mr. Terrorist, please come on to the dais. (background song from company movie) In spite of his busy schedule in planning for the next ...
20. Raju Ban Gaya Conman
(Business/Business)
Barely three months after a high-level IT company employee Biswamohan Pani was caught stealing corporate secrets of his former company Intel, another high level employee of one of India's foremost IT company, ...
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