Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

1. The Confessions of a Finance Professional
(Business/Business)

... be rendered hors de combat. Ask us any question about anything we will answer you only through these tools - even if it means introducing ourselves, our company or our services. We will use jargons ...

2. MNC Launches Another Product We Dont Care About
(Business/Business)

... new product by yet another multinational company and came back highly unimpressed. Here is the report of the event which couldn't be published in the pink paper for obvious reasons. Mumbai: Prankster ...

3. Balaji Telefilms soap KGGK to go off air after failing to cash on Arushi Murder Case
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... backlash from an outraged news media (who were primarily responsible for sensationalizing the case) demanding that the government must step in and not allow the production company and the channel from ...

4. Ask iChick
(Ask iChick/Ask iChick)

... drift) O U Q: I'm the big boss of a largish software company that makes operating systems and such things. I'm retiring later this year and I have a bunch of money ...

5. Uncle Murti plays Big Brother
(Editorial/Editorial)

I was humming through my breakfast, an Atif Aslam's number from one of his older albums, when I heard the 3 sharp honks that announced the arrival of my company cab 10 floors below. Pushing my plate aside ...

6. Sony Corp launches Onion Disks & Drives
(Business/Business)

... onion for creating a newer technology of disks and drives” said the company spokesperson. The disk although in shape of regular DVD or CD Disk, contains a coating of a totally new material developed ...

7. Feb Wedding, May Consumnation.
(National/National)

... so on Full moon day on 19th May, she charmed sasi-chellam to accompany her to the temple. Unbeknownst to Sasi-chellam, Jaya Amma used her weighty influence and was invited by the Sundatti panchayat chief ...

8. Hindustan Unilever launches detergent powder that cleans whiter than 'white'
(Business/Business)

...  "Our company has a reputation of being the quickest in the market to respond to changing consumer needs and demands. With our new brand of surf excel detergent powder, we have once again fulfilled ...

9. Fat Scientist Debunks Obesity-Global Warming Link
(Science/Science)

... Everon Labs Inc after being caught stealing donuts from the company canteen has established that obese people do not contribute to either global warming or rising food prices. Dr. Moore who is obese ...

10. Firm handshakes can cause hand/wrist injuries to your prospective boss
(Science/Science)

... potential recruits for the position of sales manager in his company is down and out with a broken hand, after every candidate he interviewed insisted on shaking his hand firmly and powerfully. Thanks ...

11. It's Mumbai Dude, not Bumbai.....
(National/National)

... be edited and the word Bombay and will be replaced by word Mumbai. This came after Shiv Sena issued demands to change the name of Bombay Scottish School as well as company Bombay Dyeing, demanding ...

12. The Satirical Guide to the Indian Stock Market
(Business/Business)

... tongue ie two professions: That of an Analyst or Operator or Company Promoter as well as that of an investor. It will always claim that it doesn't have any vested interests in the stocks that are the focus ...

13. Hey! Your Product Needs A Celebrity Endorsement
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... green, I realized that the missing element was a 'celebrity'. The celebrity-less hoarding, as you must have guessed by now, was used to endorse Samsung refrigerators, manufactured by your company. Its ...

14. Vodafone pug denies cruelty charges against employer
(National/National)

... legal notice to Vodafone accusing the company of allegedly indulging in cruelty to Rocky during the filming of an advertisement that shows him running after a school bus. In the notice issued on 25 April ...

15. Killer Coke
(Editorial/Editorial)

...  Its a sponsor for the 2008 games today. To be fair, Coca-Cola was not the only company to hedge its bets during World War II. But the extent to which companies will go to ensure future markets and profits, ...

16. What Wrong did I do?? asks Baalu
(National/National)

... the Petroleum Minister after the UPA Government was formed in 2004. What is wrong in it?" he said about the company, which he has headed in the past. OU decided to judge the viewpoint of its readers and ...

17. New study discovers that employees don't really make much of a difference to a company.
(Business/Business)

... company. But what we discovered through our study is that employees don't really count for much" said Prof. Prabhat Bhatia at a press-conference held at university premises to release their findings.  ...

18. American Gas opens its production centre in India
(Business/Business)

... Texas to Patna in India.       A spokesperson of the company said that the company has decided to move the plant to city of Patna because it was able to find more capable employees ...

19. Pritam: I'm a music importer & distributer, not a copycat
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... that they sign up the same record company which holds the copyright for the music I copy. A record company like Sony when it signs up a Turkish or an Indonesian band would usually be able to sell their ...

20. Wherever you go, you will find Microsoft
(Business/Business)

... Microsoft" said Mr. Gates to a standing ovation from the shareholders. Microsoft Corporation plans to launch Microsoft Life, a new company which would cater to all the consumable products. The company ...