Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

21. Chinese Speak: Tibetans cause for our woes
(Editorial/Editorial)

... to learn from a few Tibetan monasteries under the current Chinese rule is extremely alarming and fascinating. According to these tourists remote viewers are seeing world powers in the course of self-destruction. ...

22. Fat Scientist Debunks Obesity-Global Warming Link
(Science/Science)

...  According to Dr. Moore, the study carried by Phil Edwards and his team is unscientific, highly flawed and ignores many vital factors that if taken into account would negate the results of their study. ...

23. Warne: In Australia there is no danger of accidental death
(Sports/Sports)

... according to media reports. Rajasthan Royals' Warne, Watson, Smith and team manager Darren Berry - now holidaying in Goa - are very scared after the incident and are refusing to return to Jaipur. They ...

24. Humour-challenged Amitabh Bachchan Threatens Satire Writer
(Entertainment/Entertainment)

... sources say that Shahrukh Khan has retorted to his gloating over poor TRP ratings of "Paanchvi Paas" by inviting him to participate in the show and help improve its ratings. According to our sources, ...

25. Alliance of Drunks
(National/National)

... per cent. If we don't, the chances are just 70 per cent according to some opinion polls. What do you think?. Karunanidhi, the Grandad of TN politics remarked, in a lighter vein, that, " The filmstar turned ...

26. Slapping yet to catch on with Indians, despite Ekta Kapoor & Bhajji's efforts
(National/National)

... trigger some neural pathway in his brain leading to the scandalous slap? According to our sources, Harbhajan is truly baffled at the hue and cry raised over the slapping incident and unable to ...

27. Rising Food Prices To Make Obesity Fashionable
(World/World)

... enable them to show-off their water-melon shaped bellies and thunder thighs According to Rohit Bal, Delhi-based fashion designer "In the coming times, flat bellies would be seen as sign of food deprivation ...

28. Survey: 12.9 million Mumbaikars have done nothing for Mumbai
(National/National)

... played their part in making the city seventh dirtiest in the world. Most of the respondents sheepishly agreed that they have thrown litter carelessly on the streets of the city. According to the survey ...

29. Vodafone pug denies cruelty charges against employer
(National/National)

... and spend most of our waking hours running, galloping and exhausting ourself on our own freewill. In fact, denying pugs the freedom to run and gallop would constitute cruelty, according to me." added Rocky. ...

30. A day in the life of Shankar Rajan
(People/Life/People/Life)

... Herculean display of courage, perseverance, and the indomitable human spirit. According to witnesses, though it seemed on more than one occasion throughout the day that his life would come to an end, ...

31. IPL & Inflation - The Hidden Link
(Sports/Sports)

... the form of ICL? Think again. According to the latest conspiracy theory that has been floated by a prominent writer and author, there is a deeper and sinister reason behind the origin of world's premier ...

32. New study discovers that employees don't really make much of a difference to a company.
(Business/Business)

...  According to Prof. Ravindra Tripathi who was in-charge of researching the economic impact of corporate sector's activities on the nation, most companies, contrary to the claims made by them of 'changing ...

33. Worm in the Apple
(Editorial/Editorial)

... worm's details: According to the complaint filed in Manhattan federal court, Mr Kadish borrowed several classified documents related to national defence from the army's research centre between 1980 ...

34. 6 inch abs may not always help
(Science/Science)

Being an aggressive macho male with six pack abs doesn't mean that you will always get that hot girl, for according to a new study - there are other factors also in play which gives even someone with a ...

35. Bird Flu: The new WMD
(World/World)

... nursing and medical services could be out of action within 10 days, according to a study at the Defense Academy of the UK Staff College. Black Death or Plague had wiped out third of the population ...

36. Hockey: No national fame, only national shame
(Sports/Sports)

... team playing for Indian Premier League (IPL). Yet neither the duo nor thousands of experts, journalists, sports commentators and enthusiasts have ever wondered why cricket is not our national game. According ...

37. Researchers discover two new behavioral syndromes
(Science/Science)

... loyalty towards the hostage-taker often identifying with their causes. According to Dr. Parnanjpe, people affected by the syndrome, which he has named "Smockhome (Shitholes may be our common karma, yet ...

38. Leading Psychiatry Journal: We Are All Mentally Ill
(Science/Science)

... suffering from mental disorder is sending excessive emails and text messages. According to an article published in the journal by a shrink in need of more customers, Dr Jerald Block, there are four symptoms ...

39. TCS liberates 500 wage slaves
(Business/Business)

... company has performed according to market expectations with a five per cent quarter-on-quarter growth in revenue and 6.7 per cent rise in net profit for October-December, its margins and revenues have ...

40. Imran Khan: Pakistan lost opportunity to have world's most handsome leader
(World/World)

... of their next president being world's most handsome leader. According to some reports, Taiwan's president-elect Ma's good looks played an important part in swaying voters to his side, especially female ...