India's aborted moon-mission: Let the conspiracy theories begin

Tuesday, 01 September 2009 01:05

Written by essbee, onion uttapan news

The Devil Stole its Soul: If our planet earth can have consciousness (as believed by some scientists), even a spacecraft can have a soul. Our good boy Chandrayaan got corrupted by Lucifer in the Sky and turned over to the dark side (of the moon). How could this have happened? Well, according to rumor mills, the dark side of the moon harbors a soul-catcher, a device that captures the soul of everyone who dares to come in close proximity to this permanently hidden side of the moon. Poor Chandrayaan lost his soul to the devil who forced him to cut off all contact with his parent, ISRO.

If this was a terrible conspiracy theory, I've a better one..

It Moonwalked into oblivion: By a remarkable coincidence, Chandrayaan lost contact with ISRO on the same day Moon-walker Michael Jackson was posthumously celebrating his 51st birthday (August 29). What would have been the best location in the universe where dead MJ would have thrown a heavenly birthday party? Obviously the moon, without doubt the most natural destination where he would have preferred showing off his legendary moonwalk dance to the heavenly bodies of the universe.

So here is what could have possibly transpired. Chandrayaan landed up at his birthday party and watching MJ do the moonwalk, felt inspired to try the dance himself. ISRO, of course had designed Chandrayaan to move only forward in space, not backwards. Attempting to slide backwards like MJ, he repeatedly failed, kept falling down and in the process broke some essential circuitry required for maintaining contact with ISRO.

Too far fetched? I've thought of a worse one..

Lost in Love: It appears that there are some loonies who believe that moon is an artificial satellite put into orbit around earth by intelligent forces unknown to us.  This crazy theory is based on the analysis of the chemical properties of lunar rock which is primarily composed of chromium, titanium and zirconium, all three metals that are mechanically strong with anti-corrosive properties. The details of this theory are beyond the scope of this article and can be read here. Assuming that moon indeed is a manufactured spacecraft, it is possible that Chandrayaan, an artificial satellite fell in love with Moon, also an artificial satellite and eloped with it severing all contact with ISRO who obviously would never have approved of their match.

Now, if moon is an artificial spacecraft, could there be alien bases on the moon? Quite possible. If so, it gives rise to another theory. Aliens stationed in secret bases on moon shot down or captured our Chandrayaan. Looking at the voluminous stuff available on net, I think I can conjure up a thousand more sillier conspiracy theories on why Chandrayaan was lost. But that would entail reading copious pages of bizarre theories, none of which sound remotely believable when the 'lunar effect' slowly withers away. But if you are interested, click here, here or here

And don't miss this interview with Richard Hoagland, who believed that India would be the best fitting country to disclose the long hidden truths about the moon provided it was allowed to by other geopolitical forces. Did these other geopolitical forces win?

Comments (2)

Harsha: ...

You forgot to add the mother of all conspiracy theories - there was never a chandrayaan in the first place.. the chandrayaan launch was filmed at film city

1

September 03, 2009

Twitter Trackback: ... http://topsy.com/tb/onionuttapam.com/science/science/indias-aborted-moon-mission-let-the-conspiracy-

abhijitvaidya - Desi conspiracy theories to explain the tragic abortion of Chandrayaan-1 http://is.gd/2KwYG #ROFL

2

October 08, 2009

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