Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

Sometimes, its better if some scientific studies are never carried out and if carried out their results not splashed prominently in newspapers.

Just few days after results of a new study, published by study leader Greg Stewart, associate professor of management and organizations at the University of Iowa, were published that claims that a firm handshake may help you grab your dream job, there is a flurry of reports from all over the world from employers complaining about hand and wrist injuries.

Mike Dermott, 47, CEO of Ascent Inks, who had the misfortune of interviewing over 200 potential recruits for the position of sales manager in his company is down and out with a broken hand, after every candidate he interviewed insisted on shaking his hand firmly and powerfully. Thanks to the over two hundred 'power handshakes' he received, the ulnar collateral ligaments of his right hand have been raptured and he has been advised by his physician not to use his right hand for any strenuous activity for two months.

Ajit Gupta, chief recruiting officer of Rolta Industies is suffering from repetitive strain injury in his right wrist, after receiving crushing handshakes from over 175 candidates he interviewed for the post of management trainees in his company.

Both of them are furious with the scientific study and equally angry with all the candidates who delivered them 'power handshakes'. As a result they have rejected all the candidates who shook their hands firmly and have decided to recruit their 'man' from the list of those fortunate few who had not read the results of the study and offered a light or weak handshake.

Ratan Arora, chief of Human Resources department, Siltex Industries, is also upset with the study. "Job seekers are trained how to act in a job interview, how to talk, how to dress, how to answer questions, so all of them look and act alike to varying degrees because they have all been taught the same things," he said. "But the handshake was something that was perhaps more individual and subtle and communicated to us something that dress or physical appearances doesn't."

"But now with this study, all job-seekers are being trained how to deliver firm and powerful handshakes. As a result, from now onwards, we wouldn't be able to differentiate between candidates on the basis of their handshakes" Arora added ruefully.

Comments (1)

angel said:

	hahaha.. should have known earlier .. Now I cant use this Idea
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 15, 2008
Votes: +1

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