The up-lifting, bloating, shrinking & downfall of Adnan Sami

Wednesday, 11 February 2009 11:02

Written by essbee, onion uttapam news

Some years back famous Pakistani balladeer Adnan Sami pleaded, prayed, implored, begged and cajoled to an entity whom he called 'maula' (god) requesting him to 'lift' him up from his miserable, downtrodden existence. Praising the lord using highly flattering phrases such as 'you are all-knowing' 'you are majestic' and 'I hold you in high esteem', Sami asked god to provide him with 2-4 bungalows, cars and an also an airplane.

The almighty lord who is usually stingy and economical in fulfilling such extravagant wishes of his devotees, for some reason took a liking to the singer and despite his excessively heavy weight of over 200 kilos at that time, decided to lift him up. Perhaps the lord was finding it difficult to ignore his pleadings considering the fact that his musical prayer had almost become a sort of national anthem of India and Pakistan being played repeatedly on music channels and blared from every nook and corner of the sub-continent.

adnan_sami Well, so the lord of our universe 'lifted' him up, showering him with enough rupees, dollars, pounds and dirhams to enable him to buy not two or four, but eight flats in Mumbai. As years passed, Adnan Sami, along with monetary gains went on to gain even more weight, almost to the point where it looked like he would explode and die. Fortunately, good sense prevailed and the singer decided to shed some of his excess weight making it much easier for the almighty lord to keep him uplifted. But mysteriously, just when it looked everything was going alright with the life of the crooner, it appears that lord almighty has made up his mind to drop him down from the elevated heights he had reached with his divine assistance.

As things stand at the moment, his wife Sabah is threatening to eject him out from the house he currently resides in and also attempting to lay claim to five of the eight apartments he owns. To make matters worse for him, he could lose all his flats if Indian Government concludes that being a foreign national he has no right to own property without adequate permission from Reserve Bank of India.

So why is lord abandoning one of his favorite devotees? Is he angry with Adnan? Why is he threatening to take back everything he bestowed on him?

After repeated requests, lord almighty answered our queries. "Not my fault! I should not be held responsible for his conjugal or legal troubles. I gave him everything he asked for. I also helped him (and me too in the process) lose what he wanted to lose. His wife is responsible for his present-day problems, not me."

Lord Almighty, aren't you responsible for every single leaf that moves in this world? Of all the women in the world who adore him, why did you have to tie him up with such a vile, unworthy gold-digging bitch from hell?

"No..no.. I'm in the business of answering oft-repeated prayers, not moving leaves. Consider this. Adnan demanded several houses forgetting that homes are made by those who live in them, not by just bricks and cements. He could have prayed for granting him the true love of his life. He could have begged for happiness and joy. He could have pleaded for peace and serenity. But instead he thoughtlessly choose quantity of material possessions over quality of life." said the lord with a sigh.

Jeez..god, do you always speak using worn-out cliches? You are being interviewed by a funny site, not by some new-agey, quasi-religious publication, you know.

"Yes, I always talk in sombre, godly tones. Here's one more overused hackneyed advice - Be careful what you wish for, I might just make your wish come true."

But not in the way you would imagine, he left unsaid not revealing his twisted sense of humor.