Jade Goody becomes history's most lampooned dying celebrity

Wednesday, 25 March 2009 14:06

Written by essbee, onion uttapam news

While Indians, ever-respectful of the dying and the dead have so far refrained from ridiculing and mocking Jade Goody as much as they did when they first got acquainted with her racist tantrums, British lampooners and parodists, never respectful of even respect-worthies, have not held their punches.

Ever since Jade Goody declared that she would prefer to die from cancer on live television, she has become the most lampooned soon-to-die celebrity (and now dead celebrity) in the history of dying celebrities. What makes her achievement even more special is that she was not even a proper celebrity, but the sort of celebrity that becomes a celebrity because he or she is the exact antithesis of a celebrity, the ultimate non-celebrity material - epitome of commonplace ugliness, low-intelligence and crassness.

British spoof-writers had literally buried her dead much before she died officially. Special pre-death obituaries were written by them mourning her tragic death. Some of them were pondering the unfathomable reason why she was hogging the headlines when thousands of other unsung heroes are also dying in hospitals all over the world. Others pledged to finance her cremation as a gesture to show their gratitude for providing a steady supply of quick laughs and 'Jade Goody Jokes'.

But not everyone of them was grateful. One meanie wished to see her dead corpse sent into orbit after the performance of 'last frights' by the pope, so that every trace of her could be erased from British landscape.

While she was battling cervical cancer with courage, dignity and grace like every other dying person, she absolutely ruled the pages of fake news and spoof sites. In these pages, she was beatified for her miraculous achievements in getting so many column-inches in press and generating revenue from multiple sources without any talent or intellect and crowned as 'People's Princess' for being touched by tragedy. Her death was commemorated by issuance of special coins, 'Shave Your Head' campaigns and creation of special 'Jade Goody Day' in her honor. Cancer crusades were launched to help dying celebrities, special 'Goody-bye England's Woes' songs were written by Elton John to pay her tribute and her wedding dress was turned into a new Turin shroud.

And of course, a unique personality such as she - a Mother Teresa, Princess Diana, Lance Armstrong & Jesus rolled into one, deserves nothing less than a religious holy day for herself. And hence Good Friday was renamed as 'Goody Friday' on special demand made by Jesus Christ and the Department of Vultures .

Mummified, hippopotamized, knighted, registered as a trademark, stuffed in unnatural hystery museum and given a dose of her own medicine, Jade Goody died a larger-than-death death. Jade Goody, the Queen of Crass is dead. Long die Jade!

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Jade Goody becomes history's most lampooned dying celebrity

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