Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

"I want the nation to serve me" said an elated Ravi Garg, a student of Delhi Public School, who has bottomed this year's CBSE class 12 exams scoring just 2.27 percent.

This year's Central Board of Secondary Education results came as a 'beautiful surprise' for the family of the Delhi bottomer. "We always knew that our son had the ability to hit rock bottom. He is a true 'star on ground' and has made all of us proud with his achievement" said Prakash Garg, father of the proud son, loosely translating the title of the movie 'taare zameen par' to depict the incredible feat of his son.

"We were expecting bad results, but we had not imagined that Ravi would reach hit bottom of CBSE charts" added the father.

The son of a script writer father and TV soap editor mother, Ravi is keen at taking a shot at film direction. An overjoyed Ravi says he owes his total failure to his parents who encouraged him to spend all his time watching third-grade bollywood movies and TV serials.

"It wasn't easy to escape the peer pressure" said Ravi, "With all my friends spending 10-12 hours doing nothing but study, study and study, I felt tempted to open my books and study too. But I resolutely refused to cave in to the temptation"

Ravi has decided to follow the footsteps of his parents and join the entertainment industry. His aim in life is to become a third-rate film director and make pots of money. "I have already written script for Dhoom 4 with the help of my dad. It will have no plot or story but lots of bikes and bikini babes. If Yash uncle gives me a break, I will give him the blockbuster of the season" said Ravi confidently.

Apart from the script he has written, he also plans to make remakes of several hollywood movies. "I've got DVD's of hundreds of hollywood hits which can be Indianised" said Ravi excitedly.

Ravi has many other back-up plans if he fails to get a break in bollywood. "I'm planning to start an Indian version of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) which will provide gainful employment to hundreds of bodybuilders, amateur wrestlers and failed bollywood villain-wannabes."

"If that doesn't work out, I can always fall back on reality shows." One of the original concepts he has in mind for a reality show will have class 12 students locked up in the studio for four months, preparing for mock CBSE exams along with a bunch of failed students who will try their best to distract them from their studies.

Ravi's mom, Vinita Garg, too isn't worried about his son's future and believes that his failure in clearing CBSE exams is a good omen. "If none of his grandiose plans succeeds, he can try directing TV soaps. Almost all the directors that I've worked with have failed to clear class 12 exams. Those who are enjoying the highest pay packets were unable even to clear their matriculation exam. I'm sure my son would become one of highest paid directors in television industry, if he tries his hand at directing TV soaps"

"I want the nation to serve me by watching all the C-grade stuff I plan to produce and direct in future." pronounced Ravi

Looking at the state of India's entertainment industry, it appears that the nation is in the mood to oblige this young bottomer from New Delhi

Comments (5)

sandhya said:

	Hmmm. Ravis mom comes like a breadth of fresh air. All the SSC, CBSC, ICS and whichever board kids appear, may be wishing to have a mother and father like ravis' who would expect BAD results and then gloat over the fact that their child did worst then their expectaions. LOL The article sure did make me smile and lift my spirits, however rubbish the storly might be.
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May 30, 2008
Votes: +0

Ravikant Mittal said:

	Hey Buddy!Good One Thats the spirit and don't worry Yash Uncle will give u a chance
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May 28, 2008
Votes: +1

ragamuffin said:

	Way to go ! In showbiz the greatest success story needs to be just a "Paanchvi Paas"
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May 27, 2008
Votes: +1

Sandy said:

	good one! a more interesting read than wat the toppers have to say
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May 27, 2008
Votes: +1

anshulsri2 said:

	updates:OnionUttapam is producing Ravi Garg's firts film
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 26, 2008
Votes: +2

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