Guy finally succeeds in becoming 'first' commentator

Thursday, 01 October 2009 17:51

Written by first fetish, onionuttapam news

21-year old, Niket Shah finally succeeded in achieving his lifetime ambition of becoming a first commentator on an article posted on a popular facebook page of a popular website. Although his highly original and innovate comment 'firstish' missed the top position on the comment section, Nikit is proud that his comment was posted at the same time as that of Billy Taylor whose equally original comment 'first' beat him and two other competitors who succeeded in posting their comments at the same time on that article.

"I think we both posted our comments at exactly the same time. Billy's comment is displayed prior to me because I believe comments posted at the same time are sorted alphabetically. I wish I was named Aniket. But never mind..in my heart, I know I finished first." said a visibly happy Niket.

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Ben Hailstone and Isaac Dorko whose names are displayed at the third and fourth places respectively in the comment section, despite commenting at the same time, are also ahead of Niket alphabetically, but Niket is sure he finished commenting ahead of both of them. "I remember when I clicked on 'Comment' button, my digital clock which is synchronized to the last micro-second with the atomic clock maintained by US Navy displayed the time as 7:57:0l PM. No way Ben or Isaac could have commented before me!"

Niket Shah has been trying without success for a long tome to become a first commentator on various blogs and facebook pages. "As far as blogs are concerned, the gap between the time a new blog is posted and the time I receive it on my RSS feed reader is too long. I wonder how the first commentators get alerted about a new post within few minutes of the posting of the blog. I reckon they must be close friends of the bloggers and receiving alerts directly on their instant messaging clients."

After a lot of frustrated efforts at becoming a first commentator, Niket devised a new strategy. "I studied the pattern of the posts made on one of the facebook page that I follow and realized that a new post was made after a gap of about 6-8 hours. Armed with this knowledge, I calculated that a fresh post should be made on that facebook page between 7 PM and 9 PM."

Niket started refreshing the page frantically at 30 second intervals for the next hour. "At 7:56 PM, I glanced at the screen and saw a fresh, new post resting on the top of the page not trailed by stupid comments made by retarded idiots. Looking at the inviting fresh post, I immediately lunged forward. My fingers grabbed the keyboard and without losing even a nanosecond, I keyed in the word 'firstish' and clicked on the 'Comment' button" said an excited Niket.

After having tasted 'first' blood, Niket is craving for more. "It takes a lot of research, hard work, concentration, patience and of course F5-pressing to be successful in making a first comment, but its very much achievable. Refreshing a page repeatedly to catch a new post at the right time becomes monotonous very soon and is definitely not a refreshing work, but the prize of watching your name at the top of the comment section of a popular blog is worth the effort."

"I've now expanded the list of popular blogs and facebook pages which I will be following for making 'first' comments. If I put in dedicated number of hours everyday, I should be able to create a record for highest number of first comments." Niket plans to take a screen-shot of every first comment he will succeed in making in future. "I hope someday my name will enter at least Limca Book of Indian Records, if not Guinness Book of World Records for maximum number of first comments."

Niket dismisses those who laugh at 'first' commentators, call them 'firstards' and who think that being a first commentator without making a useful and meaningful comment is a very dumb thing to do. "Its 'angoor khate hai' syndrome. Never having achieved the privilege of being first at anything in their life, such people suffer from jealousy and enjoy putting down people like me who make the required effort to finish at top."

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