Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

Can you name the person who must be pondering over this question; if you answer this question, SRK is not going to give you the certificate that proclaims you are a "Paanchvi Paas". For any person who surfs the various news channels these days, knows that this question disturbs none other than me your  very own Sardar Manmohan Singh ji.But if you could help me  with this, I am sure Sallu bhaiya would give you the prize money of his series Das Ka Dum.

Till around the end of last year, the 5 years journey which started for me, when Sonia madam ji refused the crown

seemed like an extended honeymoon with my wife putting the belan on hold. For, the country was doing fine, growth rate was 10% and the myopic Left  were happy with my government.They occasionally barked from Kolkata or Trivandrum, and it was handled rather adeprly by comrade Mukherjee

Then suddenly something went wrong. Stock market crashed, the much publicized nuclear treaty which I had thought would make me a statesman let loose the rabid red dogs which till then had been bound in chains. Then suddenly inflation replaced  the growth rate and growth rate took the place of inflation. Economics is getting to be very confusing nowadays. And I am being blamed for all this. Nobody blames PCji.

I don't know when it all started for I was busy enjoying the bliss of my Race course bungalow leaving Rajmata and her Yuvraj to handle the affairs' of the state. I feel I have served them more obediently than any other topi-waalah. But just like Sharadji I too had some ambitions; I didn't want to go down as the dumbest Prime Minister ever. I wanted to let that tag remain with Mr. Gowda.

All I wanted was for the country to become self sufficient in energy and so signed a deal with US to provide materials for our nuclear power plants. After I signed the deal all hell broke loose, BJP backed off from the deal saying it is anti national and Left backed off saying I was selling the country to US. Later someone told me "It was all in the name", Shakespeare was wrong after all. BJP do not support this deal, because signing stamp would contain Panja and not Kamal.Left don't support this because one of Signing party is US of A, they would have not minded if it was China.

As far as Inflation is concerned I still don't have clue and sometimes think that there must be some typo in inflation figures, they must have been figures of growth rate and not inflation. Some countries far off decide to cut off supplies of OIL and I have to bear the brunt of this. When I try to explain this to people here, it appears nobody is listening, all they want is for me to decrease price, but how? Please tell me how to do it?

Till now you must have understood how I am being blamed for every wrong and have become the favorite punching bag for everyone. I still remember the day in central hall , when Congress party nominated me to take place of Sonia ji,Rajmata was smiling at that time looking at me. Today I can understand the true meaning of her smile. Can anybody please tell me what wrong did I do? Can you tell me the reason why I was made the PM of India? Please tell me what wrong did I do ?

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