Pokhran-II: Much ado about big fucking explosions
Sunday, 20 September 2009 23:30
Time: 13th May 1998.
Place: Pokhran, Rajasthan
Event: A big fucking explosion down under (actually 5 small explosions, but at onionuttapam.com we rarely stick to facts)
DRDO: Holy Shit! Buddha is smiling again. We created a big fucking explosion! Hell Yeah!DoAE: Yes! We did it! It's a big fucking explosion! Fuck Yeah!
DRDO: Yeah..A big fucking hole in the ground for the mo#fo# pakis to dig themselves in..
Dr. Santa (whispers) : Saar, don't you think the explosion wasn't loud enough? I was expecting an ear-shattering sound of....
DRDO Boss #1: Shhh! Don't talk...Didn't you see it was a big fucking explosion?
DRDO Boss #2: Get your ears checked, Santa. Yes, it's a fucking big explosion.
Uncle Sam: WTF! WTF! WTF!
Pakis: Just wait for a few days..We'll fake make a bigger fucking explosion!
Indians: Dream on, Pakis!
Arundhati Roy - Boo hoo! My imagination has ended. My world has died. I secede from India. I hereby declare myself independent nation of Arun-dharti Roypublic.
Indians: You should die too, bitch!
Arun-dharti Roypublic: What do you need nukes? Aren't you virile enough? Only eunuchs need viagra nukes. You are fucking eunuchs!
Indians: Shut up bitch!
Uncle Sam: How dare you create a big fucking explosion? Only we, the big five bullies of the world, have the unalienable right to create big fucking explosions. How dare you gatecrash in our exclusive Big Boys Club? You can't get away with this, you mofos. We will fucking teach you a big fucking lesson.
The rest of the world: How the hell can these third-world beggars gatecrash big bullies club, when we can't? Yes, big bully Sam, teach these fucking Indians a fucking lesson.
GOI: We are now big boys. We have the bomb. Dear world, show us some respect. We demand that we should be allowed an official entry in Big Boys Club!
Uncle Sam: Dream on!
Arun-dharti Roypublic: (screaming, crying, groveling, humiliating herself abjectly) What have you done? What if there is a big fucking explosive war? Our earth will become our fucking enemy. Our air will become fucking fire. Our rivers will turn into fucking poison. We will all fucking burn. There will be no day, only interminable fucking night. What shall we fucking eat? What shall we fucking drink? What shall we fucking breathe?
Indians: If you don't fucking stop, we will fucking eat you, bitch!
Arun-dharti Roypublic - Stop challenging god if you believe in god, you fucking eunuchs. Our world is four thousand six hundred million fucking years old. It could end in a fucking afternoon. Who gave you fucking eunuchs the fucking right to ruin the afternoon siesta of independent nation of Arun-dharti Roypublic?
Indians: Fuck off, bitch. Take your fucking independent nation of Arun-dharti Roypublic, along with your imagination to fucking outer space, you fucking raving lunatic. Let us celebrate our new found manliness. Let us enjoy our renewed virility, our fucking superior strength, our restored potency. We need our viagra pills nukes, not your fucking imagination!
Time: 15 days later, 28th May, 1998
Place: Chagai, Pakistan.
Event: A big fucking explosion down under (actually 5 small explosions, but at onionuttapam.com we rarely stick to facts)
Pakis: We did it too! We created a big fucking explosion. Woo Hoo!!
Indians: WTF! WTF! WTF!
Pakis: We win! You will no longer fucking dare attack us!
Indians: No you didn't. We created our own indigenous big fucking explosion. You losers created only a Chinese-made duplicate explosion. We doubt it was a genuine big fucking explosion. More likely our seismometers recorded the sound of your collective farts, you fucking assholes!
Bill Clinton: Two big fucking explosions don't make a big fucking superpower. Uncle Sam still rules!
Eleven years later..
Year 2009
Dr. Santa: Ladies & Gentlemen, it's time for you to know the truth about Pokhran'98. We actually flunked the nuke test. We created only small explosions, not a big fucking explosion as we had previously reported. We faked it.
Vajpayee, Advani & Co: We didn't fake the big fucking explosion. We were actually practicing austerity long before congress made it fashionable.
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Comments (3)
Politicians have sabotaged our nuclear programme. NDA while in power, Vajpayee was seen as a weak leader, run by the CIA agent and Sonia agent Brajesh Misra whose daughter Jyotsna was married to an Italian. Rome had planted Italian housemaid girl Edvige Antonia Albina Maino now being called by a not legal name Sonia Gandhi. Haji Vajpayee with no knee, and thus not even a knee jeck reaction when Pakis attacked parliament. Vajpayee was so sick that he is always filled with steroid and his thinking and actions were done by the CIA agent Brajesh Mishra.
India is run by two ISI CIA agents Sonia and Manmohan Singh. Sonia had connections to the Vatican Bank which was active in Europe and America drug market where as the collapsed Paki ISI CIA bank, The ‘Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI)’ started by Paki Abedi, specialized in the Asian drug market, terrorism,Pak nuclear program. Abedi's reach extended to the U.S. where he paid former Secretary of Defense Clark Clifford as his lobbyist for a fee of $100 million. Abedi paid Indira Gandhi and Manmohan for allowing BCCI to operate in India in 1093. U.S. Congressional hearings exposed the details and Google ‘BCCI AFFAIR’ to know more about Manmohan and Sonia. Antonia Maino alias Sonia was working in London for one Salman Tassir an ISI operative who had an office in Dubai as well.
India is run by two ISI CIA agents Sonia and Manmohan Singh. Sonia had connections to the Vatican Bank which was active in Europe and America drug market where as the collapsed Paki ISI CIA bank, The ‘Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI)’ started by Paki Abedi, specialized in the Asian drug market, terrorism,Pak nuclear program. Abedi's reach extended to the U.S. where he paid former Secretary of Defense Clark Clifford as his lobbyist for a fee of $100 million. Abedi paid Indira Gandhi and Manmohan for allowing BCCI to operate in India in 1093. U.S. Congressional hearings exposed the details and Google ‘BCCI AFFAIR’ to know more about Manmohan and Sonia. Antonia Maino alias Sonia was working in London for one Salman Tassir an ISI operative who had an office in Dubai as well.
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September 22, 2009
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