"Those who raise armies in my name should at the very least read and thoroughly memorize my epic biography written by Valmiki to have a better understanding of me and my morals before going on rampage beating and chasing women drinkers at pubs." said Sri Rama, one of the nine manifested avataars of Lord Vishnu.
"I'm afraid I can't identify with the ludicrous morality being promoted by these dimwits and refuse to associate or lend my holy name to any organization promoting such twisted beliefs and values"
Reminiscing back to the ancient times when he ruled the kingdom of Ayodhya, Rama recollected the glorious times when he and his wife Sita hedonistically enjoyed lavish parties featuring celestial nymphs, exotic wines and non-vegetarian delicacies."Except for the fourteen years I was forced to spend in forests eating a bland diet of fruits and roots, thanks to the machinations of my evil step-mom Kaykeyi, the rest of my life was one big never-ending party filled with well-cooked meats, exotic wines and beautiful bar dancers who in my times were known as Apsaras."
"Do the boneheads who have formed an army using my name know that I reveled for ten thousand long years enjoying the very things they consider as a violation of Indian culture and norms?" asked Sri Rama.
Lord Rama instructed his fans, followers and hooligans of the army raised using his name to read Chapter 52 of Uttarakanda, the last book of Ramayana, the official biography of his life and times written by Maharishi Valmiki. Quoting Valmiki, he narrated a passage from the chapter:
"All the trees in the forest were filled with flowers. And the rocks there, covered with flowers falling down from trees, appeared like welkin beautified with stars. And Rama's Asoka forest was like unto Indra's Nandana and Kuvera's Chitraratha made by Brahma. Having entered the rich Asoka forest abounding in many seats and houses and creepers Rama sat on an excellent seat, covered with a beautiful coverlet and well constructed. Like unto Purandara with Sachi he took Sita by the hand, made her sit and drink the wine distilled in the province of Mira. And in no time the servants brought for him well-cooked meat and various fruits. Being inebriated the beautiful Apsaras, well-skilled in the art of singing and dancing, began to dance before Rama in the company of Kinnaris. The virtuous-souled Rama, the foremost of those who know how to please, satisfied those beautiful damsels adorned with various ornaments. And Sita sitting by him, he appeared like the effulgent Vasishtha in the company of Arundhati. Being greatly delighted the celestial-like Rama pleased every day Sita resembling a celestial damsel. Sita and Raghava (Rama) thus spent their days happily. And thus was spent the delightful winter giving all enjoyments. Enjoying various things the high-souled Rama and Sita spent ten thousand years."
"As you can see from the above text written by my biographer Valmiki, I ate cow meat, drank wine and enjoyed dance performances of bar dancers in the presence of my own wife! As such I've absolutely no problem with women of 21st century AD drinking wine or dancing in pubs. As king of Ayodhya, I allowed a mere dhobi to impose his repugnant morals on me and exiled my lovely wife for another round of forest life. Now, as one of your prime gods, how can I possibly impose morals on my devotees that I myself never had in the first place?"
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Comments (7)
essbee
said:
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Anon, sorry, I don't understand sanskrit and can't find any english translation of uttarakand..But I'll take your word for it and accept the possibility that the dhobi story might be a myth. But apology! what for? You are missing the point of the spoof, which is to show the absurdity of having a moral army founded in the name of an epic hero whose so-called morality is based on myths and fabrications by idolizing poets & story-tellers. If anything, your disputation only shows how much of ramayana as we know is based on myths and half-truths..  |
anon
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Dear esbee , you provided chapter 52 of uttarkanda (of valmiki) to tell about how Ram enjoyed with Sita ,then why are you providing some crap link for dhobi's story?? That means you're not sure that dhobi story exists in uttarkand Ramayana of valmiki  Provide me the sanskrit verses or the canto of uttarkand of valmiki One link is here: http://valmiki.iitk.ac.in/index.php?id=sloka1 The above site is not complete with translation but you can find sanskrit verses of uttarkand of valmiki. I'm making ur life easier :-D with the link, locate me the verses which say about dhobhi's accusations. If found wrong I'll tender my apologies but expect the same with you :/ |
essbee
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Anon, it was a 'poor' dhobi whom Ram heard censuring his wife. His exact words as reported by Valmiki:: "Do you think I am Ram to tolerate such behaviour? He is the king and can do as he pleases. But, as for me, I will never keep a wife who has been seen with another man" here.. http://www.mantraonnet.com/ramayan/book7-canto1.html |
anon
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regarding last para of this article. "As you can see from the above text written by my biographer Valmiki, I ate cow meat, drank wine and enjoyed dance performances of bar dancers in the presence of my own wife! As such I've absolutely no problem with women of 21st century AD drinking wine or dancing in pubs. As king of Ayodhya, I allowed a mere dhobi to impose his repugnant morals on me and exiled my lovely wife for another round of forest life. Now, as one of your prime gods, how can I possibly impose morals on my devotees that I myself never had in the first place?" Have you read uttarkand of Valmiki properly?  If so where are the verses which talk about this "dhobi" ?? Poor dhobi is victimised ;uttarkand of Valmiki doesn't have any dhobi's allegations on mata Sita, its the people of ayodhya that gossip and Ram exiles Sitaji...not based on any dhobi's doubt. This myth is rubbish. Surely even Rama will disown ram-sene. they don't even have any right to use Ramji's name |
Vivek
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I know this is a satire....still just to mention abt the non-veg rama and wine driking sita..... In ramayana, there are elaborate passages mentioning abt non-veg eating brahmins also. Rama had to hunt and eat non-veg because he had to live the life of a hermit but not of a saint (which means he is still a Khstriya but in exile), to keep his father's dharma. As illustrated by Swami Vivekananda himself, there are two basic forms of Dharma - Sanatana Dharma and Yuga Dharma. Sanatana Dharma is common in all yugas but yuga dharma is specific to each yuga. In Treta Yuga, it was not wrong for a brahmin to eat non-veg. In Treta Yuga it was not wrong for humans to drink wine and in vanaras, it was not wrong for a woman to marry/live-in with her brother-in-law given her husbad died. But in Kali Yuga, the Yuga Dharma was defined by Bheeshma Pita maha as is being propogated (with some distortions) today. To name a few avoid non-veg and alchohol (brahmins are to strictly keep away from em....others i dont know abt ).....reciting Vishnu Sahasranamam, Suprabhatam.......and for brahmins who have their upanayanam done, nitya karma anusthanam called as Sandhya Vandanam 3 times a day  .....i guess the effect of kali we ignore them.....destiny .... what is made is bound to be destroyed and how?.... arent we seeing destruction on a daily basis  !!!! All this apart.....just hopped in to this site through presstalk.blogspot.com....brilliant site...just the rite kind of time pass |
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