To,
Mr. Shivraj Patil,
Home Minister,
India.
Dear Sir,
I saw you quite many times on my television set over the past weekend. As you very well know, it just happened that a group of people who called themselves Indian Mujhadeen dropped by in Delhi and exploded a few bombs which killed a few people and injured many others. No big deal, Sir! Bomb blasts and people dying from them is a very common occurance in India. We have a rather large population expecting to be killed through some mishap or other. But I really felt sorry when as a result of these blasts, you were forced to jettison your weekend plans and impelled to visit not one but all the five bomb blast sites.
What idiots those dastards from Indian Mujahideen turned out to be! Had they blasted one big bomb at a single location instead of five small ones spreaded all over the capital, it could have saved you considerable time and energy.
Every time a bomb blast occurs, our opposition parties start demanding your resignation. Idiots!! They should understand that the Home Minister is not responsible for every blasted blast that blasts in the country. I believe that you do your best whenever any blast occurs. You make it a point to visit all the bombed sites along with Madamji, offer the victims your sincerest apologies and say to them "I am sorry for this. We will spare no effort and will catch the culprits.....blah blah". What do these people want more..eh? You are saying sorry..na. Isnt that enough?? After all, these bloody terrorists don't inform you beforehand and then explode the bombs. Then how can you possibly stop such attacks from happening or take moral responsibility for it?
The people who bitch about you don't see how strong you are. Despite all your troubles, you manage to put up a strong face. It's necessary for a strong leader not to show any anxiety on his face during times of difficulties. If you start showing fear people will think they have elected a pussy-in-the-boots fellow. You try to maintain the honor of the nation by wearing proper clothes every time, yet people make fun of you. These ingrates don't understand the responsbilties of a Home minister. Apart from managing and controlling such situations you also have to appear for TV interviews also. They dont realize that a Home Minister cannot afford to appear shabbily on TV, which is why you had to change your dress everytime you hopped from one place to another. Your critics pounced on you for changing your clothes thrice during that fateful evening..how stupid of them!! By the way, Sir, can I give you a tip? Please retain Armani as your sartorial consultant. They have some awesome clothing, especially in designer khadi.
I request you, Sir..Please, don't take these negative comments hurled against you very seriously. Continue the good work you are doing without paying any attention to your critics. If some people die, its not really your fault. Why should you be blamed for the seperationist wave that passed through Kashmir? They were never a part of India. You only helped and aided in showing their true face to the rest of India. You are doing the best that anyone in your condition could have done.
Being an ordinary citizen of India, I know that you are doing the same thing that your predecessors had done ever since the country achieved independence i.e. "absolutelt nothing". If I die tomorrow in a bomb blast, I will not hold you responsible. It's me and me alone who would be responsible for my death, since its my job to take care of myself and not venture outside especially during weekends and festive occassions. By the way, your belief that these Mujahids will not attack us during the month of Ramadan turned out to be wishful. Cant really fault you, especially when your inputs are coming from Roll And Weave and Intellectually Bereft agencies. Hasn't it ever ocurred to you to penetrate these outfits?
Thanking you once again for the great service you are doing to the country and me specially. Thanks for all the pain you must be enduring to do it.
Your humble servant,
Ordianary Indian Citizen
