Ala-giri inaugurates School of English for Journalists
Close on the heels of the scramble for online-dictionaries at 1am local time in Riyadh, the “breaking-news” afflicted visual media journalists were sent into a tizzy as news came out that the Kadavul of Southern India, Ala-giri had opened a school of English for Journalists, sending many including Rajbeep, #ArnabForPm and many anchors of leading news channels into a nail-biting panic.
For his part, the hero if the day who has been made fun of for his non-English speaking skills in Parliament and Cabinet meetings, carried on with his usual Sunday Activity of Kattai Panchayats (the Tamilnadu equivalent of Khaap Panchayats of Haryana) He took time off from his lazy schedule and gave Mohini Kunwari an exclusive interview. Excerpts:
“Good Morning, Sir”
“Good morning, Mohini (Turning around and whispers an enquiry if his pronunciation was right)”
“What prompted you to inaugurate this School of English at very short notice, sir?”
“You see, (lapsing into Tamil) ever since I became Minister and attended meetings and Parliament, I was asked to speak in English but I chose not to because Tamil has been granted Classical Language Status and besides why speak in a language of the people from whom we got our freedom a long time back?”
“Tamil is a classical language alright sir, but English is an international language.”
“Precisely. It is an international language but not the national language of our country and neither is Hindi as the Gujarat High Court itself said in a recent judgment.”
“So, why the School of English for Journalists?”
“You see, my colleague, Tharoor, used the interlocutor word at 1am and all hell broke loose because the journalists did not understand what was the meaning because they did not know proper English and also they were hitting on the free liquid refreshments. You ‘breaking news’ fellows immediately leapt up and created a storm in a teacup. All for nothing. Aren’t the Saudis our good friends and also Pakistan’s? We can keep our talk’s bi-lateral but we have to keep multiple back channels open, isn’t it? How stupid can you TV waalas get?”
“Sir, we have to keep our ratings high and we must be the first to ‘break’ the news, so…”
“That’s what you people are good at doing, you in your hurry break the news into all kinds of meanings and my poor colleague inadvertently gets into a an Italian soup. You can quote me on this”
“Sir, who were the first to sign-up for the course that you have inaugurated?”
“Ha-Ha, you will not believe it!! Its Rajbeep and #ArnabForPm from the so called premier channels”
“Thank you, sir, for the interview”
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