Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

Sharaon Stone, famous for doing naughty stuff with her long legs like crossing and uncrossing them in a mini-skirt without wearing anything else, did more naughty stuff with her legs by putting not just her foot, but her entire leg in her mouth so deep that it went all the way down and touched her heart. Her heart could have hurt badly by the impact, but didn't because it is made up of stone, her doctor said.

On Tuesday night at Cannes Film Festival, Stone earned some bad karma for herself by saying that the recent earthquake that hit China and killed over 70,000 people was caused by the bad karma of Chinese people's repression of Tibetan people. Suffering from side effects of yet another Botox injection that migrated to the brain, the aging star had said ""I’m, you know, not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans, because I don’t think anyone should be unkind to anyone else. And so, I have been very concerned about how to think and what to do about that because I don’t like … that. And then I’ve been, this, you know, concerned about, oh, how should we deal with the Olympics, because they’re not being nice to the Dalai Lama who is a good friend of mine. And then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma? When you’re not nice that the bad things happen to you?"

She reaped instant karma, when her stupid remarks resulted in strong backlash from Chinese people and ridicule from everyone else. Forced to apologize for her flippant remarks, the 50 year old Stone said, "During the interview I made inappropriate remarks and for any harm created towards the Chinese people I am extremely sad and apologise. But please try and understand my situation. Its so tough for us celebrities to be asked such intense questions and be expected to come up with an unscripted and unrehearsed reply, you know like reply made up of my own words in a few seconds considering the little amount of brain that I have. And most of you have seen where it is." She crossed her legs as she said that.

Stone explained further why she put her foot in her mouth. "See, I know this really cool word called Karma which I think happens when bad people do bad things to good people. And as my friend Dalai Lama tells me, that Tibetan people are good people and Chinese people are bad people doing bad things to his people. My friend Dalai also told me that there was a big earthquake in India at a place where Buddha was born and Ghandi had claimed that it was result of god's punishment for bad upper caste hindoos doing bad things to good lower caste hindoos."

"So I thought I was saying something very cool and intelligent by blaming karma of Chinese people for the quake. But now people are asking me even more tough questions like why did Tibetans too die in the earthquake if it was meant only for bad Chinese. And they are saying things like China is not one big-fat-meanie where every bad thing done to Tibetans is done with full support and approval of each and every Chinese"

"Now I'm so confused. I thought Ghandi was one wise guy. Did he too put his foot inside his mouth when he said upper caste hindoos got karmic retribution through earthquake? I think I will ask Dalai about that. I'm sure he will have answers that will satisfy all of you." As she sashayed out of others' mike range she pulled out her cellphone and spoke into it and the mike we had hidden in the ear stud, " Heyy!! Dalai? How you doing out there in Dharamshala? You know what? I prattled the same way you had coached me. I think it went off well. Really well. Huh, now get me my Dior set back on the contract. And, ha, make them double the payment with retro effect. What??...I said retro as in retrospective effect, dude"

Comments (3)

sandhya said:

	and Derebail ....dont accumulate 'bad karma' by writing objectionable statements, or bad things will happen to you like they did to the Chinese. understand. hehehhe.
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May 31, 2008
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sandhya said:

	Hey Malai Mama, That was a hilarious article. LOL. "Carry on writing".
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 31, 2008
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u k derebail said:

	sharon is know to have uttered in the initial stage to succeed as an actress one needs to have a strong pussy and great body to endure lot of dicks.........it is satrical renedition Lol
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 31, 2008
Votes: +0

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