India wins freedom from Ekta's empire
Tuesday, 04 November 2008 17:57
After an eight-year long struggle to free the minds of the nation from the diabolic grip of soap-queen Ekta Kapoor, India will be finally liberated from the clutches of the longest running soap in the history of televistan. On November 10th, the last episode of the marathonic soap, Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi will be telecast and India will at last achieve freedom to breathe free, fresh and unpolluted airwaves.
It has been a long and a hard battle requiring much effort and countless sacrifices to free the airwaves from the fouled and pestiferous odor of fiendish mothers in laws, their daughters in laws and their unholy schemings and connivings.
The struggle for freedom began the same year the saas-bahu soap invaded and conquered tele-screens all over the country. Superstar of the silver screen, Amitabh Bachchan was called for by the very channel hosting the dangerous virus unleashed by Balaji Telefilms to battle the bahus, which he managed to do successfully for a couple of months. But even the mighty mogul of bollywood couldn't win the war for hearts and minds of the majority who continued to paid obeisance to the crowned empress of televistan and allowed her to reign supreme for nearly a decade.
Not to accept defeat so quickly, Bollywood unleashed several of its superstars on the idiot box from Madhuri Dixit and Govinda in the early years of the freedom struggle to Shahrukh Khan & Salman Khan in the recent years. Most of the superstars were forced to eat a humble pie and made to beat a hasty retreat. All of their star power and seductive charms failed to wean away the millions hooked on their daily dose of harebrained plots, delirious camera angles, hollering background cacophony and hideous hamming.At one point of time, it looked like all was lost. It seemed that Indian airwaves were destined to be ruled for a long, long time by the queen of senseless soaps & the empress of ludicrous melodramas who continued to have a vice like grip on the minds of the masses crocheted on depraved fantasies produced by her soap factory.
But the brave freedom-fighters didn't give up hope and relentlessly continued to fight the war of TRP's in order to save the soul of the nation from moral abasement and degradation wrought by the evil empire of the soap queen. After realizing that quiz shows and game shows, even when hosted by bollywood celebrities were no match for the addictive power of convoluted plots, our rebelling heroes decided to combat the debased unreality of the soaps with the lure of manufactured reality.
Soon our airwaves were bombarded by multitude of song-n-dance based reality shows which allowed ordinary joes from Jhumritalayas of the nation to become overnight television stars. Once again stalwarts of Bollywood dream factories - music composers, choreographers and directors - descended on tele-screens doubling as judges of reality contest shows. The ploy worked to some extent weaning away millions of impressionable teens from the spellbinding grip of debased, phantasmagoric dramas.
The final blow to the soap empire of Queen Ekta was delivered by a young, newly-arrived television channel Colors who hired the services of another big bollywood star, Akshay Kumar and over a dozen glamor dolls to drive out the soap factories from their soap-making business. Akshay Kumar and his dames jumped from helicopters, leaped into balls of fires, walked on tight ropes, kissed iguanas, got chased by bloodhounds and performed or at least pretended to perform many jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring daredevil stunts to entertain the masses and wean them off the grasp of saas-bahu sagas.
At long last, the soap-junkies began to wake up from their stupefaction and started noticing the slightly more real world of singers, dancers and stuntwomen. In order to completely wake them up, even cricketers were made to dance on bollywood tunes and sons of slain politicians, gangsters molls and assorted bunch of struggling actors, bhojpuri drama-queens & C-grade stand-up comedians were locked up in bounded enclosures watched 24/7 by cameras.
Under relentless assault from all sides, the fortress of Empress Ekta eventually began to crumble. Ratings of her soaps started falling leading to the axing of couple of her prime-time soaps. On November 10th, her flagship soap, Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi will finally leave the shores of televistan bestowing our nation much awaited freedom from mindless crap.
On this memorable occasion of India's second freedom from the demonic grip of evil queens, lets salute all the heroes who fought for our freedom. Lets salute all the Bollywood Badshahs who descended from their lofty heights and graced television screens to fight for the freedom of our airwaves. Lets salute the numerous amateur singers who came from far-flung corners of the nation to participate in talent shows and gave the soap-junkies better dreams to dream. Lets salute the brave beauties who overcame fear and performed impressive and courageous feats to entertain the masses and encouraged them to free their minds from daily assaults of irrationality.
Lets pledge to never let our airwaves be invaded again by regressive garbage and mindless drivel.
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Comments (2)
I hope she engages your services for re-jigging her strategy to come out of the swamp, She is talented to understand the changing times. Star TV s withdrawl seems to have triggered the collapse, now with the artists striking it will be an interesting battle to watch out for.
1
November 11, 2008
hahah .. i remember there was a guy in our college who used to love these serials a lost and used to see them over youtube. hahahah
Another group of people dedicated the sound track of "Kyunki saas..." at the annual fest to this guy... It was so funny... hahaha...
Ekta kapoor sucks... i wonder how many houses she had destroyed with her bullshit ideas... i still recall a lady who used to stay in our colony and she used to often crib about her mother -in-law comparing her to the characters in this serial... Ekta kapoor should be hanged till death
Another group of people dedicated the sound track of "Kyunki saas..." at the annual fest to this guy... It was so funny... hahaha...
Ekta kapoor sucks... i wonder how many houses she had destroyed with her bullshit ideas... i still recall a lady who used to stay in our colony and she used to often crib about her mother -in-law comparing her to the characters in this serial... Ekta kapoor should be hanged till death
2
May 15, 2009
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