Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily - Humour-challenged Amitabh Bachchan Threatens Satire Writer

Pompous, self-important and narcissist bollywood superstar, Mr. Amitabh Bachchan has threatened prominent satire-writer V.Gangadhar, who writes a weekly satire column for Hindustan Times, with legal action for daring to make fun of him in his recent column 'Laundered Reputations'

V.Gangadhar in his weekly satirical made a passing reference to the aging star along with references to Mumbai Police Commissioner - Hasan Gafoor, Lalit Modi - father of IPL, Kareena Kapoor - ex-girl friend of Shahid Kapoor and L.K.Advani - leader of BJP, charging them of giving clean chits to someone or other. But while all the above celebrities know what satire is and chose to laugh it off, ignorant Mr. Bachchan took strong exception to his words - "And ever since Amitabh Bachchan began to blog, he has been giving clean chits to himself on all issues."

Mr. Bachchan, completely lacking in sense of humor, was so incensed at this innocuous remark, that he has threatened to take legal action against him and put him behind bars. Writing in his blog, where apart from threatening poor Gangadhar, he childishly gloated over the failure of rival superstar Shahrukh Khan's "Kya Aap Paanchvi Paas Se Tez Hai' to generate high TRP's, he wrote

"Clean chits Mr Gangadhar have been given to me by the esteemed and honored legal bodies of our land - the Honorable High Courts and the Supreme Court. Casting aspersions on their decisions could bring serious contempt of court proceedings against you. ‘Laundered’ is an ominous term. You are trying to say that the reputation of the individuals that you mention in the article are dirty and that they have been ‘laundered’ to look clean. This is defamatory and downright objectionable. Let me warn you that such remarks if not with drawn, could put you in not too pleasant a location, where you would personally have to be laundering your own clothes every morning !"

Mr. Bachchan, it must be remembered, has been suffering from over-bloated ego and poor sense of humor ever since he replaced Rajesh Khanna as the reigning superstar of the nation. In 1975, when Indira Gandhi declared emergency, he used his clout with Mrs.Gandhi and attempted to shut down film glossy 'Stardust' which resulted in his being banned by the entire media for 15 years.

The ban was finally lifted in 1989, but Bachchan's sense of humor didn't show any sign of improvement and he continued to threaten everyone who dared to joke or poke fun at him. In May 2000, when he was anchoring the super-successful quiz show "Kaun Banega Karodpati", he blackmailed Star TV network, threatening to walk out of the show midway, if they didn't squash the episode of "Amul India Show" where Pooja Bedi had famously asked him “Why is your beard white but the hair on head black?”

Meanwhile, our reliable sources say that Shahrukh Khan has retorted to his gloating over poor TRP ratings of "Paanchvi Paas" by inviting him to participate in the show and help improve its ratings. According to our sources, if Mr. Bachchan accepts the invitation and participates as a guest celebrity, he will be asked "What does satire mean?" at the crucial time when he has run out of all his cheat options.

We at onionuttapam.com are hoping that Mr. Bachchan reads this article and threatens to send us to an unpleasant location. Right now, due to budgetary constrains we are already operating from not too a pleasant location and forced to personally launder our clothes every morning. All the free publicity we may receive if Mr. Bachchan blogs about us might help us move to a more pleasant location!
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Humour-challenged Amitabh Bachchan Threatens Satire Writer
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Pompous, self-important and narcissist bollywood superstar, Mr. Amitabh Bachchan has threatened prominent satire-writer V.Gangadhar, who writes a...

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Comments (6) add comment

derebail2008 said:

	Now even Amir has joined the bandwagon, why not pull his legs he will respond more proactively
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 17, 2008
Votes: +0

Viduur said:

	Why Legal Action when you have Bulls like Amar Singh? Ask him to take OU by horn and he will oblige promptly my Dear AB.
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 15, 2008
Votes: +1

ragamuffin said:

	No amount of laundering can possibly smoothen the pomposity You guys at OU can surely give him some lessons on satire. after all he may not even be a "paanchvi pass".
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 15, 2008
Votes: +0

derebail2008 said:

	I don t think AB will come after you all he takes on mighty and formidable, Why should be waste his time and energy on try to tarnish O U which a budding baby. Anyways nothing wrong in hoping for the best, because any publicity is welcome
	report abuse vote down vote up