Onion Uttapam : India's Leading Satire Daily

Remote viewing is nothing new in Tibetan monasteries. For thousands of years remote viewing in the middle of other spiritual activities have dominated Tibetan culture. What some Indian tourists came to learn from a few Tibetan monasteries under the current Chinese rule is extremely alarming and fascinating.

According to these tourists remote viewers are seeing world powers in the course of self-destruction. They also see that the world will not be destroyed. Between now and 2012 the world super powers will continue to engage in regional wars. Terrorism and covert war will be the main problem. In world politics something will happen in and around 2010. At that time the world powers will threaten to destroy each other.

The recent earthquake in southwestern China, specifically, in the capitol and vicinity of Chengdu of Sichuan Province has already killed over 100,000. There may be 30,000 additional deaths. Over 70,000 have been injured and many are still unaccounted for. Some estimates say that thousands may still be missing in this capitol city and nearby towns.

Between 2010 and 2012, the whole world will get polarized and prepare for the ultimate dooms day. Heavy political maneuvers and negotiations will take place with little progress. In 2012, the world will start plunging into a total destructive nuclear war. And at that time something remarkable will happen, says, Buddhist monk of Tibet. Supernatural divine powers will intervene. The destiny of the world is not to self-destruct at this time. Scientific interpretation of the monks’ statements makes it evident that the Extra Terrestrial powers are watching us every step of the way. They will intervene in 2012 and save the world from self-destruction.

Sources close to Chinese government in Tibet inform that around 100 monks have been arrested by the Chinese government from across the Tibetan province of Qinghai.More such arrests are feared in next 24-48 hours.Our sources tell us that Chinese government is currently in process of gathering evidence and may come public with these allegations after one or two monks confess to there role in it.

When asked about recent UFO sightings in India and China, the monks smiled and said the divine powers are watching us all. Mankind cannot and will not be allowed to alter the future to that great extent. Every human being though their current acts in life called “Karma” can alter the future lives to some extent, but changing the destiny in that large extent will not be allowed to that great an extent. Monks also mentioned that beyond 2012 our current civilization would understand that the final frontier of science and technology is in area of spirituality and not material physics and chemistry. Beyond 2012, out technologies will take a different direction. People will learn the essence of spirituality, the relation between body and the soul, the reincarnation and the fact we are connected with each other are all part of “God”.

Our sources in Benchen Monastery tell us existence of an ancient chanting mantra in Buddhist text's which when recited in group can cause unusual movement in tectonic plates and can cause earthquake's.Some minor earthquake's have been reported during mass chanting in Budhist monestries.Our sources tell us that monasteries around Tibet under the orders of Dalai Lama chanted that sacred mantra in unison. The devastating effect of that was there for the whole world to see.

In India and China UFO sightings have increased in many folds. Many say the Chinese and Indian Governments are being contacted by the Extra Terrestrials.In recent days most UFO activities have been seen in those countries who have indigenously developed Nuke capabilities.When asked if these extra-terrestrials will show up in reality in 2012, the answers remote viewers are giving is: they will reveal themselves in such a way that none of us scared. They will reveal themselves only if they have to. As our science and technology progresses, we are destined to see them and interact with them any way.

The Chinese government is currently in process of gathering evidence and after that may move to UN to declare Buddhist monasteries in Tibet as an terrorist organization.

According to the remote viewers, our earth is blessed and is being saved continuously from all kinds of hazards all the time that we are not even aware of. As our technologies progress we will realize how external forces saved us.

With contribution from Our OU reporter, Anshul on the firng line. We have decided to put his name up for the Bravery Award while sending us this report from the safety of his Paris Hilton room in the chawls of Paris where he has recently migrated.

Comments (4)

satirical said:

	They are all visionaries.. Their Vision is scary!!! (Quote from Eminem!!) LOL
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June 18, 2008
Votes: +0

anshulsri2 said:

	thanks for the concern, me currently having a blast in paris chawl
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May 20, 2008
Votes: +1

derebail2008 said:

	It is Nostradamus prophecy at its best Lol. I hope Anshul reaches chennai Paris not the chawl Paris in Dharavi. Lol
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 20, 2008
Votes: +1

ragamuffin said:

	God help all Remote Viewers!! It seems that technological progress is actually taking us backwards to the age of Ramayana. All the rishis indulges in nuclear warfare by chanting various mantras. Truly Mind boggling !
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 20, 2008
Votes: +1

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