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Wherever you go, you will find Microsoft

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Quite catchy and an alarming one, this is the new motto of restructured Microsoft Corporation. This was announced by Microsoft chairman Mr. Bill gates in the AGM of the Microsoft Corporation. "We have entered the lives of most of the people on earth; whenever they open their computers they use a Microsoft product. We now intend to extend this a little bit to ensure that wherever people go they find Microsoft" said Mr. Gates to a standing ovation from the shareholders.

Microsoft Corporation plans to launch Microsoft Life, a new company which would cater to all the consumable products. The company wishes to go into market by mid of December i.e. in the festival season.? As the company already has an brand image among computer user's across the world, we will use them in spreading the brand Microsoft across the globe" said Mr. Gates.

With major pomp and show, the first product by Microsoft Life was launched at the AGM. "Microsoft Cloud Light" a new class a cigarette is set to hit the market by mid of October. The company plans to distribute around 10 packs of this cigarette free with every Windows or Vista CD.

"We had done an study on the behavior of Computer using crowd and found out that 70% of them smoke, so why not let them smoke windows while using windows" said Mr. Taufiq Gupta the CEO of new company.

"Also smoking of Microsoft cigarettes could decrease the number of complaints to our customer care department regarding windows" said a jubilant Taufiq. "Every time you are frustrated using windows and want to blow up your PC, you can go out and burn Windows" said Tafiq.

Supporting him Gates said "All products of Microsoft will derive energy from each other".
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Wherever you go, you will find Microsoft
Saturday, 19 April 2008
Quite catchy and an alarming one, this is the new motto of restructured Microsoft Corporation. This was announced by Microsoft chairman Mr. Bill...

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umesh derebail said:

Microsoft is a great company, they upgarded my browser in to I E 7 without any hassles. I am sure MS has wasted enough time on focus of core operating systems only. Now it is high time they diversify into other lines which is mostly useful for a PC literate. But getting into cigarettes is something foolish. With great difficulty I quit smoking I don t want to get into regular smoking. There are other consumer products such as chips, chocolates and fruit juices. Why not think of condoms too LOL.
 
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