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The Satirical Guide to the Indian Stock Market
| Article Index |
|---|
| The Satirical Guide to the Indian Stock Market |
| CHAPTER 1: The Zoological Classification of Indian Investors |
| Ravings of this whirling stockaholic dervish |
| All Pages |
Stocks. Ask an investor. You cant live with them. You cant live without them. You can love them. You can hate them yet you cant ignore them. Especially if you happen to be an investor in the Indian Stock Market or "Shock" market.
I am a third generation Indian investor with a third generation talent in picking shares that make you lose your shirt (or maybe just give you enough to buy one).
In the most recent shirt losing experience, I attained Enlightenment while reading the 20% upper circuits and 20% lower circuits in a pink newspaper.
Maybe the paper was made from Bodhi Tree Pulp or maybe it was just a crack in the Matrix or maybe it was listening to Carnatic Music on an empty stomach.
It doesn't matter. In a flash that lasted less than a nano second, in a timeless serene ocean of peace, I was shown a wonderful reality about the Indian stock market in its totality.
I was shown the inner personalities of investors, companies, stocks, the machinations of Operators, brokers, funds, institutional investors .My head was spinning after the experience. I am certain it was the Carnatic Music. Should have either eaten some junk food or listened to Western Classical and I would have been shown the dressing room of FTV Models…
ALAS! The burden of knowledge. It has to be shared. No use holding back information for which the time has come. Yes. It is time to illuminate the masses of investors and non investors on all the inner truths. It is time to share the secrets of the Sphinx.
I will begin with a piece of ancient wisdom, also revealed by the way in the intermission of my enlightneing experience. The Ancient Egyptian civilization was destroyed because of their Pyramid scheme. EgypTo Constructions Ltd. opened a rights issue to build a huge pyramid with modern technology after completing the smaller pyarmids.
The promoter who was related to the Pharoah ran away with the gold coins which were to have been melted and put as the capstone. The investors lost their shirt and to pay off the loans had to build the pyarmid themselves because the dumb Pharoah punished the employees. Threw them to the crocodiles ( who shed real tears , Egyptian construction workers had some real muscle…)
The name of the cunning promoter was HarshadoMenhtep. He emigrated to India with a little help from the Jews who crossed the red sea and his descendants proudly carried his banner.
Enough Sharing of Pyramidiotology. It is time to spread the teaching.
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too good, "Caif, [who] sounds like a Yorkshire 