Steve Jobs tired of stupid iPad jokes

Thursday, 04 February 2010 20:23

Written by oniouttapam news

Frustrated by the lame jokes based on the premise that iPad sounds like a feminine hygienic product, Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple asked everyone to look up the dictionary meaning of the word 'pad'.

Speaking to reporters from an elevated pad built at the Apple headquarters, Jobs explained to the reporters 10 different meanings of the word 'pad', none of which included any references to feminine hygiene. "Grow up, people. For crying out sake, no dictionary anywhere in the world defines a pad as a sanitary product. Do you burst into uncontrolled laughter when you use a notepad for writing down stuff with your pen or paper? Do rocket launches from launch pads remind you of menstruation? Do you avoid using stamp pads because the ink in a stamp pad reminds you of menstrual blood?

"Yes, there were women in our marketing room when we decided to call our new product 'iPad'. But the women in our marketing team have brains, you know. They are not stupid like those nitwit teens on facebook who post the colors of their bras on their status messages to spread awareness about breast cancer." said Jobs in response to jibes aimed at Apple marketing team.

"If you think you are fucking clever because you made up an iPad joke, you can't be more wrong. Your jokes are fucking lame. I've heard better iPod jokes, which is a lousy over-hyped product offering nothing that regular music phones don't offer, yet every year I manage to make millions of you shell out your hard-earned dollars for it. And of course, throughiTunes & iBookstore, I make you pay for stuff that you would be able to get for free, if you were a little more tech-savvy."

"Your jokes don't hurt me a bit, because unlike my products, your jokes have a limited shelf-life. Five years down the line, I will still be selling millions of iPods and iPads and generally ripping you off with my monopolistic, anti-competitive practices and over-priced gadgets, while your stupid jokes would have been long forgotten." added Jobs.

"Laugh at the lame jokes as much as you want. But at the end of the day, my iPad will protect me from your derision by absorbing all your wisecracks." he said laughingly.

Comments (1)

neoplasmeus: ...

But the women in our marketing team have brains, you know. They are not stupid like those nitwit teens on facebook who post the colors of their bras on their status messages to spread awareness about breast cancer." said Jobs in response to jibes aimed at Apple marketing team........Just superb.

His felonies became career paths to many at Silicon Valley.

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October 22, 2011

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