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Q:Oh I am so tierd...so damn tierd of listening to telugu songs everyday. No offense to the telugu junta as such but...i work in an MNC where we can by disrupting a lot of policies play music on our pc's. Oh that is just the good part...the sad part is a dame who sits behind me who obviously loves telugu music keeps playing these songs every damn day...Now I do like music but being forced to listen to something you just don't understand with all the dhinchak beats gets pretty irritating after a while....Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A: Hey dear,I know listening to tamil and telgu songs is really tough,considering that their dance numbers have high number of high beats.if I would have been in your place would have played "High Decibel" bhojpuri song, until that lady gets sick of music,If you are keen on following this advice buy a good dvd of bhojpuri songs by Manoj Tiwari and Ravi Kissan.In case u believe in Gandhigiri buy a head set and gift to her.
P.S. If you use first option I can even compile a playist of hit bhojpuri numbers and send across to u.
Q:Hi,I am in a big mess which I don’t know how I have created and also don't know how to get rid of it. Actually I have a long distance bf, we met through a SNS.Also there is another guy who lives in the same city as my bf, and they both have met recently. This guy keeps on inviting my bf for movies over the weekend and whenever he talks to me(the other guy) , he praises my bf's hairstyle , his color and figure. I don know but I think my bf is having affair with this guy, ohh OU pls tell me how to find it out?
A: So one thing is certain that ur bf is not gay, otherwise he would have long left you. Do one thing, go and meet ur bf and this guy and try to find who the culprit is. Then silently pass on a comment to ur bf that the other guy was making passes on you, if your bf believes you laugh and dance and if he doesn't come back quietly and never tell anybody that you had an affair with a gay.
Q:This is this wonderful guy; I met over a SSN site. He is a real popular person there;
every happening person is on his friend's list and he writes such intelligent
blogs.We started chatting and then switched over to talking on mobile phone
late in night. He advices me on lot of thing and is really concerned about me.
He calls me Billi with love. I
also love him a lot, but the only problem we are having is that he is 5 years
younger to my dad and I am only 16 .I can't live without him .Pls advice
me what to do ?
A: Hey sweetie we are here to resolve your problem…and lo behold our brilliant
brainwave. Well….one good thing is that have 2 years to make your father agree
with to your wishes (after that whether he agrees or not…who cares?). Make your
Dad watch Cheeni Kum every time it comes on TV and keep a background commentary
running as to how nice it would have been if Sexy got to marry Ghas phus in the
movie? Watch out for his reaction evreytime. Add in comments like old is the
new hot….give examples of Sean Connery, Richard Gere and now Pierce Brosnan
(ooh lala…) Am sure he will start thinking about the possibility positively and
then on your 18th birthday introduce ur Billa to dad and say Sexy
found her Ghas Phus (Just make sure that
ur Ghas Phus can run though….if you get my drift)
Q: I'm the big boss of a largish software company that makes
operating systems and such things. I'm retiring later this year and I
have a bunch of money stashed up that I don't know what to do with. I'm
thinking I'll give it away to charity. What do you think?
A: Hi Bill! I think it's a bad idea to give away your tiny little
savings to charity. What will you eat after you retire? But if you feel
strongly about it, you can go ahead and give it to charity.But before
you do, you should ask which group of people deserves the money the
most? The answer is people like us who open sites that no one reads. We
are the under-privileged group that lives on the streets of the
internet, leading miserably lives, trying to get by on the daily
laughs. Nobody cares about their plight. We need the money the most. If
you donate money to this very charitable cause, you will automatically
get a ticket to heaven, and that too business class! What a good deal,
no?
Q: My Boss keeps asking me to do work, and that leaves me with no time to visit your site. What should I do?
A: I feel for you my friend. I can't believe there are still
barbaric people in this world that prevent ordinary, honest people like
you from visiting clean, good funny websites at work. This is a clear
violation of basic human rights.
Here's what I recommend you do:
When your boss is out for a Coffee break, go to his Comp. Open up
outlook, Word and some other applications. Then take a screenshot of
the screen and save it as a JPEG. And then, close all the applications,
hide all the desktop icons and set this image as the desktop
background. When your boss comes back, he'll click all over the desktop
wondering why is his comp is not responding. He'll restart a few times,
the desktop image will come back, and the cycle repeats.This should
keep your boss busy all day, and that should give you plenty of time to
read articles at our site.
Q: I'm a feminist, and a very passionate one that that. But there
is this guy at work that keeps arguing pointlessly about feminism with
me. He doesn't have anything positive to say and I think he's arguing
just for the fun of it. Is it OK if I use my Karate skills and kick
this guy?
A: I completely understand your frustration. I've known guys like
that. But you know what? People that argue pointlessly are often the
ones that have the greatest wisdom. Pointless arguments, as I'm sure
you know, are the contained in the Principles of the Japanese art of
Zen. The ancient Indian texts also refer to Pointless arguments
extensively. So I urge you to look deeply at this person's ramblings,
go to a mountain top and meditate on what they mean.
Also, I understand your urge to use your 2 violent skills - Feminism
and Karate - together. I would direct your energy towards Sanjay
Leela Bansali, who has managed to make several anti-feminist movies.
"How" you ask? Have you noticed that SLB's movie titles are all Male
sounding?
"Saawariyaa", and not "Saawariyee". "Devdas", and not "Devdasi".
"Black", and not "Pink". If anyone deserves the kick, it's Sanjay Leela
Bansali. Best of luck with that. Let me know how it goes.
Q: I'm a big fan of Rakhi Sawant, and I tremendously enjoy her
work. I want to put up posters of her in my room, but my roommate disapproves strongly. What should I do?
Dear Anshul,
You describe a subject very close to my heart, and in many ways, I have faced the same problem as you have. The solution, as is the case to all problems of this class, is deception. I would recommend buying posters of Rakhi Sawant and cutting them into the size of a book. Then, stick it into the middle pages of your book. Make sure that the book is something boring, like 'Technical Specifications of J2ME 5.1', so that your parents don't ever open it. Another interesting thing you can do is to print out a Rakhi Sawant poster on one of those semi-transparent sheets that you get these days. Then, paste the sheet on the inside of your helmet visor. This way, you can see not only the road, but also Rakhi Sawant when you are driving. I can imagine this being a tremendous help in traffic jams. Another option is to cut the poster into small strips and stick them to venetian blinds. During the day,you can set the venetian blinds open, and enjoy the view outside the window. But whenever you want, you only have to pull on the string to align all the strips and viola! There's your poster! I have, of course, never done any of the above things myself.
You describe a subject very close to my heart, and in many ways, I have faced the same problem as you have. The solution, as is the case to all problems of this class, is deception. I would recommend buying posters of Rakhi Sawant and cutting them into the size of a book. Then, stick it into the middle pages of your book. Make sure that the book is something boring, like 'Technical Specifications of J2ME 5.1', so that your parents don't ever open it. Another interesting thing you can do is to print out a Rakhi Sawant poster on one of those semi-transparent sheets that you get these days. Then, paste the sheet on the inside of your helmet visor. This way, you can see not only the road, but also Rakhi Sawant when you are driving. I can imagine this being a tremendous help in traffic jams. Another option is to cut the poster into small strips and stick them to venetian blinds. During the day,you can set the venetian blinds open, and enjoy the view outside the window. But whenever you want, you only have to pull on the string to align all the strips and viola! There's your poster! I have, of course, never done any of the above things myself.
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Ask iChick
Sunday, 08 June 2008
Is life or something of it troubling you? Making you pull your hair in frustration? Share your problems with iChick. A...
Sunday, 08 June 2008
Is life or something of it troubling you? Making you pull your hair in frustration? Share your problems with iChick. A...
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